Predictability, Curiosity, Pride & Friends
People tend to take comfort in the predictability of the common human. Surprises just aren’t appreciated since they don’t always tend to be good. As usual, people tend to remember the disadvantages of everything and completely ignore the advantages.
A person whose actions are dictated by logic rarely lets emotions define his/her actions. Similarly, a person whose actions are fuelled only by his/her passion and emotions rarely tries to cool himself/herself down and listen to a rational mind. That’s exactly how we want people. Banal. People might desire for the former type of person to act on impulse frequently to spice up their lives but in most cases, the results are far from satisfactory. Similarly, an impulsive person is often told to take charge of their feelings and think things through. However, for the people who know this person, they will find the change undesirable since they are used to the reckless behaviour. Not the boring side, which they will find themselves being presented with, after the change.
People have even made a living out of predicting what people will do. Poker players come to mind. Correct me if I’m wrong since my knowledge of the game is quite limited. I get the impression that each player (along with a stroke of luck) attempts to figure out whether the opponent is bluffing about his/her hand or not while predicting what the opponent might try next. Another example that comes to mind is a gossip artist. Knowing that people thirst for information about other person, a gossip artist only needs to lob a few well-placed rumours in the midst of a group to cause chaos. What’s ridiculous is that they know exactly which person is likely to pass along the false data like an excited little child who wants to blab to his/her parents every simple event that took place in his/her small world.
I, myself, take pride in predicting what people will do next. I explained my reasoning in my first chapter. Even though pride is not a trait that I cherish, it’s a quirk that I take pleasure in. Now, I remember explaining to someone so vehemently that I was not arrogant but put on the façade just to protect a weaker inner-self. However, over a period of time, the arrogant persona that I projected towards the public, integrated itself with my natural character. Now I’m a jerk who takes every opportunity to gloat over others, when presented with the chance. I still believe that I can salvage what’s left of my original personality since I regret my cockiness. As much as I detest my conceit, I abhor my humbleness. Whenever, I feel humble, I receive comfort which makes me feel like a martyr.
Though I dislike pride, I loathe curiosity in people. I myself am very curious. However, my curiosity is not the same type of inquisitiveness that I detest. Perhaps my hatred morphed so that I don’t hate my character anymore than I do, but I believe that this abhorrence emanates from my logical mind. As I’ve mentioned in my first chapter, I’m not curious about peoples’ lives but more so about them. I’m a keen observer of human nature. I wish to know what causes them to do whatever they do. However, I don’t care to know what secrets they have or whether they are on the sly or not. People who do wish to know such details annoy me to the point of disgust. Any information that person A does not wish to reveal is kept private for a reason and therefore for person B to pry is completely wrong. It’s just not person B’s business. Everyone justifies their actions with excuses, though. In this case, the excuse could be anything from “I had Person A’s best interests in mind.” to “I was just looking out for myself, in case Person A turns out to have a shady past.” In my opinion, gossips are no better. They just lurk around hoping for some juicy news that they can spread around. I don’t know whether the people who relate the stories are the sad ones or the ones who bother to listen. Either way, it’s just really pathetic when people find their lives too boring and need to rely on the lives of others.
Ah! I found another scrape goat. Yet another pathetic sight in my mind would be talk shows. When people call in and talk about their problems or whatever else is on their mind, they are just letting the whole world know. They are basically telling gossips that they are easy victims. They might as well place a bulls-eye on their back. I’ve never sat through a whole episode of Oprah Winfrey, Rikki Lake or any other similar talk show. The whole show revolves around a bunch of people whining about their problems ultimately breaking down into tears and woefully looking for pity from others. It’s bad enough that they WANT to come onto the show and talk about their problems in public, but people start watching them regularly. That’s when I know that our world is really twisted. People finding other people’s misery entertaining. For television networks to promote this self-degradation, does not say much about their respect for privacy.
Speaking of self-degradation, I would like to talk on nudity for a while. It’s not a topic that I’m really comfortable with and I’ve done my best at preventing myself from being exposed to this. I admire nudists since they can expose themselves so comfortably. However, when nudity is relied upon for boosts in careers, ease in getting things or just for the pleasure of others, then admiration goes out the window and repulsion settles in. The last reason strikes me most vividly. People should not strip for the sole purpose of entertaining others. It’s vulgar, obscene and demeaning. Then again, for people to watch these “nudists” is just as shameful.
Swearing would probably be next on my list. I’m sure that more than ninety percent of teens swear incessantly. I’ve got nothing against people who cuss yet I’m still to understand their reasoning for it. Sure, they swear to show that they are frustrated or for emphasis. However, both of these can be done with normal English words that are still decent to the ear. If someone is frustrated, why can’t they just say “Shucks!” or “Shoot!” instead of rattling off a list of profanities? If they want to place emphases on words, why can’t they use adjectives that the English language originally meant to be used? If they want to vent their anger towards someone, why can’t they just say “Curse you!” or “A pox upon you!”?
An idea struck me about how people approach the concept of swearing. When a new “bad” word appears on the horizon, it’s used rarely and quite tentatively. However, as time progresses, the bad word loses its influence as a derogatory word. Then another word looms out of the void left behind. So forth. It’s the same for adrenaline junkies, cigarette smokers or any other addicts. In the beginning, small doses were sufficient. Ultimately, the small doses no longer had the same effect and a higher dose was looked for.
For the past several years, I can say that I’ve experienced peer pressure to normalise by swearing too. To become one of the others and be accepted as a “cool” person is a desire held close to the heart by many. Swearing can provide one way of fulfilling that desire. Yet, that desire never hit me strongly enough to entice me to swear freely. All around me, friends swore and never seemed to notice it. Every time I heard a cuss, I would flinch and wonder why they felt the need to use such filthy language. It’s not up to me to preach to them and ask them to stop swearing. It’s for them to realise that it’s not essential to make friends and be “one of them”. Whenever I’ve come across a young ‘un who I’ve caught swearing, I tell them that I had a large group of friends out of which the majority swear. I’m one of them but I achieved that slot without having let words of dirt slip through my lips. You shouldn’t have to change to make friends. They should accept you for who you are.
I’m not going to mention any names in this section, since this could be more humiliating for those people than they might like. I’m just sticking to the safe side.
To continue with this relentless whining, I would like to talk about friendships with girls. It’s a normal thing and everyone has a few female companions in their lives. I don’t know whether it’s as bad in the western world as it is in Asia. In the western world, relationships spring up at a very tender age so a simple friendship is nothing unusual to anyone. However, in Asia, boys and girls are raised with not much interaction between the two. A relationship at a young age is frowned upon and definitely not a good idea. It makes sense too so I have no desire to have a girlfriend yet. However, I do make friends with girls even though that is still considered somewhat outlandish. They are after all just people, so why should I let gender stand in the way of being friends. Isn’t that too a form of discrimination which is even more of a sin? It’s a refreshing change talking to girls and they certainly do help in the development of character.
When I first moved to the Middle East at the start of my teens, my upbringing kept me away from females. I didn’t mind. Until then, I hadn’t really seen much of the western world and did not know that they started dating at a young age. That year, I was thrust into a country that was quite similar to the western world. Sure, the traditional Pakistani customs still stood there but they were diluted and almost overshadowed by the western style of living. On my first day in a new school, I was surrounded by swearing and romance. Out of one eye, I could see kids my age, angrily cussing at each other. Out of the other, I saw a couple sitting together, blissfully ignorant of their surroundings. Unsurprisingly, I did not like the change. I found that I was very uncomfortable talking to girls since I would worry that people might assume that I’m in a relationship with her. Later, I learnt to completely ignore what other people think since they are always on the watch for some goat to pick on. That’s probably when I stopped depending on others since I felt that the more they knew about me, the more they could use against me. Anyhow, over the next few years, I found that I was impervious to being pressured into swearing. However, I did start talking to girls more often.
The first time I had a conversation with a girl, a group of classmates starting whooping and catcalling. That certainly wasn’t too encouraging. Nonetheless, I gradually conversed with girls frequently. After a year, I was fine with talking to them but I still didn’t initiate too many conversations. When I was seventeen, I began starting the conversations. That gave me a much needed boost of confidence and helped me feel comfortable talking to them. I found that it wasn’t as strange as I felt it would be and surprisingly, I was able to hold up my own in long conversations with them. I remember a friend of mine told me that he couldn’t talk to girls casually. His method was to talk to them just like he would speak to any guy. I suppose that’s a valid technique but you can’t talk to girls about all the things that you talk to guys about.
Even though talking became simple, I felt that any physical contact was still too weird. Even the slightest brush would make me recoil. I think that was the hardest thing for me to get over. It’s like touching a python (Sorry for the comparison. No offense intended). There’s the fear of being hurt even though that fear is completely unfounded. I felt touching a girl was like invading her personal space and just not the proper etiquette of a gentleman. Unfortunately, it turns out that I’m not much of a gentleman and even though I still restrained myself from any contact, the occasional brushes would still occur. Basically, that’s the development of my thought pattern concerning from start to present.
Even though, I held all these bizarre tenets, I never jumped to conclusions when I saw a guy talking to a girl. However, that’s not the point of view held by everyone. Every time, I mention that I’ve talked to a girl or have been spotted talking to girls, my friends have accused me of courting some special someone, despite my objections. I’m sure that more than half of my friends believe that I’ve had a girlfriend at one point or the other. I’m sure that a few of them are probably joking and believe me but it’s the remainder who get to me. Why can’t a guy talk to a girl without everyone else jumping to all these conclusions? Can’t a simple friendship exist between the two?
So many men believe that the only reason a guy would talk to a girl is for personal pleasure. I disagree. I’ve already mentioned what I find appealing about talking to girls. It’s sickening to think that males are so “tainted”, that they can’t look past superficial temptations and just focus on the personal side. A friend of mine frequently spots a girl that he finds very pretty and would love to get to know. However, he can’t work up the nerve to go talk to her. I admit that he could be unsure about how he should approach the girl and is possibly intimidated by her looks. Even then, the way he talks about girls, he seems so sure that it’ll be easy to get a girlfriend. Not only that, he appears to think that he’s too good for many girls. That’s not the right attitude I believe. He’s basing all this on just the girl’s looks and his own arrogance. I purposely say arrogance and not experience or confidence. If we let our pride choose a girl for us, we’re going to be single eternally. So many of us think the world of ourselves and think we’re too good for anyone. So even if the perfect person walks by, half of us won’t give him/her a second look. Until we’re rudely brought back down to earth, we’re never going to change our outlook.
I’ve always been in awe of girls and even though I’m better at talking to girls then my friend, I feel that I will have several problems in ever forming a relationship with a girl. I’ve tried not to judge girls on their looks and have been successful for the most part. This way, I feel that I’m more inclined to look at the persona behind the exterior and if I feel attracted, then I know I’ve met someone who I might form a bond with. The temptation will be there but I’m sure that I’ll overcome it since my belief that I should hold off all romance until completely independent, is something that I value a lot more. However, I trust that I’m on the right path by looking past the physical features. It’s my consideration that if I find the intangible part of a girl appealing, her inner magnificence will show externally too. So even if she isn’t an eyeful, I’ll still consider her the most beautiful person in the world.
I think this brings to an end a lengthy chapter authored by a man who is nothing more than a grouch.
A person whose actions are dictated by logic rarely lets emotions define his/her actions. Similarly, a person whose actions are fuelled only by his/her passion and emotions rarely tries to cool himself/herself down and listen to a rational mind. That’s exactly how we want people. Banal. People might desire for the former type of person to act on impulse frequently to spice up their lives but in most cases, the results are far from satisfactory. Similarly, an impulsive person is often told to take charge of their feelings and think things through. However, for the people who know this person, they will find the change undesirable since they are used to the reckless behaviour. Not the boring side, which they will find themselves being presented with, after the change.
People have even made a living out of predicting what people will do. Poker players come to mind. Correct me if I’m wrong since my knowledge of the game is quite limited. I get the impression that each player (along with a stroke of luck) attempts to figure out whether the opponent is bluffing about his/her hand or not while predicting what the opponent might try next. Another example that comes to mind is a gossip artist. Knowing that people thirst for information about other person, a gossip artist only needs to lob a few well-placed rumours in the midst of a group to cause chaos. What’s ridiculous is that they know exactly which person is likely to pass along the false data like an excited little child who wants to blab to his/her parents every simple event that took place in his/her small world.
I, myself, take pride in predicting what people will do next. I explained my reasoning in my first chapter. Even though pride is not a trait that I cherish, it’s a quirk that I take pleasure in. Now, I remember explaining to someone so vehemently that I was not arrogant but put on the façade just to protect a weaker inner-self. However, over a period of time, the arrogant persona that I projected towards the public, integrated itself with my natural character. Now I’m a jerk who takes every opportunity to gloat over others, when presented with the chance. I still believe that I can salvage what’s left of my original personality since I regret my cockiness. As much as I detest my conceit, I abhor my humbleness. Whenever, I feel humble, I receive comfort which makes me feel like a martyr.
Though I dislike pride, I loathe curiosity in people. I myself am very curious. However, my curiosity is not the same type of inquisitiveness that I detest. Perhaps my hatred morphed so that I don’t hate my character anymore than I do, but I believe that this abhorrence emanates from my logical mind. As I’ve mentioned in my first chapter, I’m not curious about peoples’ lives but more so about them. I’m a keen observer of human nature. I wish to know what causes them to do whatever they do. However, I don’t care to know what secrets they have or whether they are on the sly or not. People who do wish to know such details annoy me to the point of disgust. Any information that person A does not wish to reveal is kept private for a reason and therefore for person B to pry is completely wrong. It’s just not person B’s business. Everyone justifies their actions with excuses, though. In this case, the excuse could be anything from “I had Person A’s best interests in mind.” to “I was just looking out for myself, in case Person A turns out to have a shady past.” In my opinion, gossips are no better. They just lurk around hoping for some juicy news that they can spread around. I don’t know whether the people who relate the stories are the sad ones or the ones who bother to listen. Either way, it’s just really pathetic when people find their lives too boring and need to rely on the lives of others.
Ah! I found another scrape goat. Yet another pathetic sight in my mind would be talk shows. When people call in and talk about their problems or whatever else is on their mind, they are just letting the whole world know. They are basically telling gossips that they are easy victims. They might as well place a bulls-eye on their back. I’ve never sat through a whole episode of Oprah Winfrey, Rikki Lake or any other similar talk show. The whole show revolves around a bunch of people whining about their problems ultimately breaking down into tears and woefully looking for pity from others. It’s bad enough that they WANT to come onto the show and talk about their problems in public, but people start watching them regularly. That’s when I know that our world is really twisted. People finding other people’s misery entertaining. For television networks to promote this self-degradation, does not say much about their respect for privacy.
Speaking of self-degradation, I would like to talk on nudity for a while. It’s not a topic that I’m really comfortable with and I’ve done my best at preventing myself from being exposed to this. I admire nudists since they can expose themselves so comfortably. However, when nudity is relied upon for boosts in careers, ease in getting things or just for the pleasure of others, then admiration goes out the window and repulsion settles in. The last reason strikes me most vividly. People should not strip for the sole purpose of entertaining others. It’s vulgar, obscene and demeaning. Then again, for people to watch these “nudists” is just as shameful.
Swearing would probably be next on my list. I’m sure that more than ninety percent of teens swear incessantly. I’ve got nothing against people who cuss yet I’m still to understand their reasoning for it. Sure, they swear to show that they are frustrated or for emphasis. However, both of these can be done with normal English words that are still decent to the ear. If someone is frustrated, why can’t they just say “Shucks!” or “Shoot!” instead of rattling off a list of profanities? If they want to place emphases on words, why can’t they use adjectives that the English language originally meant to be used? If they want to vent their anger towards someone, why can’t they just say “Curse you!” or “A pox upon you!”?
An idea struck me about how people approach the concept of swearing. When a new “bad” word appears on the horizon, it’s used rarely and quite tentatively. However, as time progresses, the bad word loses its influence as a derogatory word. Then another word looms out of the void left behind. So forth. It’s the same for adrenaline junkies, cigarette smokers or any other addicts. In the beginning, small doses were sufficient. Ultimately, the small doses no longer had the same effect and a higher dose was looked for.
For the past several years, I can say that I’ve experienced peer pressure to normalise by swearing too. To become one of the others and be accepted as a “cool” person is a desire held close to the heart by many. Swearing can provide one way of fulfilling that desire. Yet, that desire never hit me strongly enough to entice me to swear freely. All around me, friends swore and never seemed to notice it. Every time I heard a cuss, I would flinch and wonder why they felt the need to use such filthy language. It’s not up to me to preach to them and ask them to stop swearing. It’s for them to realise that it’s not essential to make friends and be “one of them”. Whenever I’ve come across a young ‘un who I’ve caught swearing, I tell them that I had a large group of friends out of which the majority swear. I’m one of them but I achieved that slot without having let words of dirt slip through my lips. You shouldn’t have to change to make friends. They should accept you for who you are.
I’m not going to mention any names in this section, since this could be more humiliating for those people than they might like. I’m just sticking to the safe side.
To continue with this relentless whining, I would like to talk about friendships with girls. It’s a normal thing and everyone has a few female companions in their lives. I don’t know whether it’s as bad in the western world as it is in Asia. In the western world, relationships spring up at a very tender age so a simple friendship is nothing unusual to anyone. However, in Asia, boys and girls are raised with not much interaction between the two. A relationship at a young age is frowned upon and definitely not a good idea. It makes sense too so I have no desire to have a girlfriend yet. However, I do make friends with girls even though that is still considered somewhat outlandish. They are after all just people, so why should I let gender stand in the way of being friends. Isn’t that too a form of discrimination which is even more of a sin? It’s a refreshing change talking to girls and they certainly do help in the development of character.
When I first moved to the Middle East at the start of my teens, my upbringing kept me away from females. I didn’t mind. Until then, I hadn’t really seen much of the western world and did not know that they started dating at a young age. That year, I was thrust into a country that was quite similar to the western world. Sure, the traditional Pakistani customs still stood there but they were diluted and almost overshadowed by the western style of living. On my first day in a new school, I was surrounded by swearing and romance. Out of one eye, I could see kids my age, angrily cussing at each other. Out of the other, I saw a couple sitting together, blissfully ignorant of their surroundings. Unsurprisingly, I did not like the change. I found that I was very uncomfortable talking to girls since I would worry that people might assume that I’m in a relationship with her. Later, I learnt to completely ignore what other people think since they are always on the watch for some goat to pick on. That’s probably when I stopped depending on others since I felt that the more they knew about me, the more they could use against me. Anyhow, over the next few years, I found that I was impervious to being pressured into swearing. However, I did start talking to girls more often.
The first time I had a conversation with a girl, a group of classmates starting whooping and catcalling. That certainly wasn’t too encouraging. Nonetheless, I gradually conversed with girls frequently. After a year, I was fine with talking to them but I still didn’t initiate too many conversations. When I was seventeen, I began starting the conversations. That gave me a much needed boost of confidence and helped me feel comfortable talking to them. I found that it wasn’t as strange as I felt it would be and surprisingly, I was able to hold up my own in long conversations with them. I remember a friend of mine told me that he couldn’t talk to girls casually. His method was to talk to them just like he would speak to any guy. I suppose that’s a valid technique but you can’t talk to girls about all the things that you talk to guys about.
Even though talking became simple, I felt that any physical contact was still too weird. Even the slightest brush would make me recoil. I think that was the hardest thing for me to get over. It’s like touching a python (Sorry for the comparison. No offense intended). There’s the fear of being hurt even though that fear is completely unfounded. I felt touching a girl was like invading her personal space and just not the proper etiquette of a gentleman. Unfortunately, it turns out that I’m not much of a gentleman and even though I still restrained myself from any contact, the occasional brushes would still occur. Basically, that’s the development of my thought pattern concerning from start to present.
Even though, I held all these bizarre tenets, I never jumped to conclusions when I saw a guy talking to a girl. However, that’s not the point of view held by everyone. Every time, I mention that I’ve talked to a girl or have been spotted talking to girls, my friends have accused me of courting some special someone, despite my objections. I’m sure that more than half of my friends believe that I’ve had a girlfriend at one point or the other. I’m sure that a few of them are probably joking and believe me but it’s the remainder who get to me. Why can’t a guy talk to a girl without everyone else jumping to all these conclusions? Can’t a simple friendship exist between the two?
So many men believe that the only reason a guy would talk to a girl is for personal pleasure. I disagree. I’ve already mentioned what I find appealing about talking to girls. It’s sickening to think that males are so “tainted”, that they can’t look past superficial temptations and just focus on the personal side. A friend of mine frequently spots a girl that he finds very pretty and would love to get to know. However, he can’t work up the nerve to go talk to her. I admit that he could be unsure about how he should approach the girl and is possibly intimidated by her looks. Even then, the way he talks about girls, he seems so sure that it’ll be easy to get a girlfriend. Not only that, he appears to think that he’s too good for many girls. That’s not the right attitude I believe. He’s basing all this on just the girl’s looks and his own arrogance. I purposely say arrogance and not experience or confidence. If we let our pride choose a girl for us, we’re going to be single eternally. So many of us think the world of ourselves and think we’re too good for anyone. So even if the perfect person walks by, half of us won’t give him/her a second look. Until we’re rudely brought back down to earth, we’re never going to change our outlook.
I’ve always been in awe of girls and even though I’m better at talking to girls then my friend, I feel that I will have several problems in ever forming a relationship with a girl. I’ve tried not to judge girls on their looks and have been successful for the most part. This way, I feel that I’m more inclined to look at the persona behind the exterior and if I feel attracted, then I know I’ve met someone who I might form a bond with. The temptation will be there but I’m sure that I’ll overcome it since my belief that I should hold off all romance until completely independent, is something that I value a lot more. However, I trust that I’m on the right path by looking past the physical features. It’s my consideration that if I find the intangible part of a girl appealing, her inner magnificence will show externally too. So even if she isn’t an eyeful, I’ll still consider her the most beautiful person in the world.
I think this brings to an end a lengthy chapter authored by a man who is nothing more than a grouch.
