Upon Further Contemplation
I don’t know how to begin. In the span of two to three hours, I understood that there was so much that I knew but did not understand. There were things that I knew would happen but was not prepared for.
I’ll start off with a memory. I was at an amusement park and about to conquer a ride that I was slightly in awe of. The ride was called the Space Shot. It was a hundred metre high square tower with four seats on each side. The ride itself consisted of shooting the apprehensive riders to the top of the tower in three seconds. After they reached the top, they had a second or two to catch their breath and admire the view. After that, they plummeted to the bottom. After a few shorter repetitions of the ride, the shaky riders were released from their constrictive seats to stagger off to their loved ones and tell them about their daring experience. This is a dramatic exaggeration of the episode. The first time on it was probably the most exhilarating. I knew what was going to happen but not having experienced it, I was a bit hesitant in letting those restraints strap me down to those seats. Of course, the ride is perfectly safe so I was in no danger so I wasn’t scared. However, I wasn’t sure that I needed to go through with it. I find this recollection amusing as I type it out. Anyhow, the ride was great. I was quite impressed with it. Seeing that there was no queue, I asked for another go. The second, third and fourth rides were still entertaining. On the fifth ride, I closely followed the ride attendant’s hand as he reached for the ignition button. I was completely ready for the sudden rush of being thrust up into the sky. However, the button was pressed and I was gone. I knew what was going to happen and how it was going to happen. Yet, I had the familiar feeling of surprise that I experienced on my first ride. There’s just no preparing for that ride. You’ll understand why I related this story later on… hopefully.
When I first penned the previous chapter, I felt that there was nothing offensive in the contents. On the contrary, after “Artsie” read through the chapter, he told me that I was too harsh and deserved to be punched out for it. His “review” of it made me anticipate my first meeting with “Hyper Dude” after he had read my chapter too. Otherwise, I didn’t think much of it.
Earlier yesterday, I was at the gym with “Artsie” when he mentioned that “Hyper Dude” had perused my previous chapter. However, I was more intent on getting through my exercise routine and getting downstairs to eat, so I didn’t pay much attention besides acknowledging the recent information. “Artsie” told me that he wanted to go eat at six o’ clock. He asked me whether “Hyper Dude” would join us. That’s when something interesting happened. “Hyper Dude” had been out the previous night and had gone to sleep around five in the morning. Thinking that he would be exhausted, I told “Artsie” that “Hyper Dude” would get up between a quarter past four and half-past. He would then proceed to take a shower, brush his teeth and spend approximately forty-five minutes on the internet checking his mail and communicating through MSN. He would then call around and gather the usual gang to go eat at half-past five. However, “Artsie” and I were in the gym and wouldn’t be there to answer the invite. After the two of us completed our non-sweat-breaking workouts, we headed upstairs at a quarter to six. I was in my room for five minutes when I got a call from “Artsie”. He informed me that “Hyper Dude” had left a message on his machine saying that he was going down to eat. The time at which the message was left was at half-past five. My first sentence went something along the lines of “Ha! I told you”. At the time, I wondered why “Hyper Dude” hadn’t left a message for me too. I dismissed the thought thinking that he may have called but didn’t bother leaving a message. Didn’t matter.
So I head down to the dining room hoping to catch “Hyper Dude” before he left. I bumped into him and “The Cheshire Cat” leaving the dining room. They weren’t interested in staying so I waited for “Artsie” to join me. The two of us ate and then headed up to Floor 11 where “Banana Man”, “The Cheshire Cat” and “Hyper Dude” resided. I went to “Banana Man” and “The Cheshire Cat’s” room while “Artsie” went off to “Hyper Dude’s” room. As it turned out, “The Cheshire Cat” and “Hyper Dude” had gone off to a nearby mall. “Artsie” popped by, not having found “Hyper Dude”. “Banana Man” was on his way to dine so we decided to join him. How can I pass up another meal? While we’re eating, the conversation turned to the short episode in the gym. I wondered whether it was pure luck or there was something to these “predictions”. So I told the others that I expected that “Hyper Dude” had tried the Halal food, didn’t like it and settled with pasta and a couple of slices of pizza. As for “The Cheshire Cat”, he would have passed up flank steak and gone with pasta only. The rest of the meal passed uneventfully though jovially. I headed up and spent a few hours messing around. I was to later find out that my guesses were dead-on except that “Hyper Dude” did not check his mail.
I got a call from “Hyper Dude” around eleven o’ clock. He wanted me to join him in his room. “Artsie” was already there. I went down and joined the two. The majority of the next hour was spent talking about music. There was only a fleeting reference to my chapter. As “Artsie” and I got up to leave, “Hyper Dude” asked me to stay a while and talk. I thought “Why not?” Whatever “Hyper Dude” and I talked about is between the two of us but it was very interesting. This brings me back to the story I started off with. I knew what was going to happen and I knew what the reaction would be. However, even though everything went as I expected them to, I was surprised.
“Hyper Dude” and I spent almost two hours after that talking. It wasn’t wholly serious. The last half of our talk was just like we used to talk before my chapter. When we would talk about everything and enjoy our conversations. When “Hyper Dude” got up and left for his room to slumber, I remember thinking about something he mentioned earlier. I had been mistaken. It was true that our friendship had stagnated. Our friendship had reached its peak. It couldn’t get any better than it was. I hadn’t realised that until we began to talk the way we used to.
Now this brings to mind my previous chapter. I wrote “When I think about the number of friends that I’ve made over the years, I’m hard-pressed to find a single one that I feel I still am as closely linked to”. When I think about it, I couldn’t have put “Sis” on it. I was trying to think of friends who I was still closely linked to. Since my friendship with “Sis” came to an end, I couldn’t be closely linked to her. So she shouldn’t be on the list. “Hyper Dude” was not on the list and I still do not think he should be on the list. That would be because my friendship with “Hyper Dude” got stronger and better over the past several months before ultimately “stagnating” as I so bluntly put it. We’ve spent so much time together that we’ve become synonymous. It’s not often that one is seen without the other. Like I mentioned before, I was mistaken in thinking that our friendship had stagnated in a bad way. In fact, I’m glad that our friendship had settled at the perfect point.
Well, that’s all I’ve got to say about the previous chapter as everything stands currently. Perhaps I was mistaken in airing out the dirty laundry but since it has been done, I’m going to make sure that I parade through the neighbourhood to let everyone understand that I do have some clean clothes too.
It sounds to me that I’m tripping over my own feet as I try to explain my previous chapter. I’m sure that’s how everyone else will feel including “Hyper Dude”. Not that I would or can blame anyone. I admitted that I didn’t look at the “stagnation” the right way, but that was after I talked to “Hyper Dude”. The fact that I did not realise it before the conversation is what really places my head on the guillotine. Actually, the fact that I didn’t realise it straight off the bat is what in my opinion makes the blade blunt. Whether that blade kills me or not isn’t the point. It’s the pain that comes with being hit with a falling blunt blade. If I survive, that pain serves to remind me that my thoughts placed my head on death’s table in the first place, but I was still lucky to walk away with just a bruise or deep wound. If I’m struck fatally wounded by the blunt blade, my last thoughts would probably be that I deserved the blunt blade for not covering all angles like I always say I do.
I offer no apologies yet I ask to be pardoned for my mistake.
Now, I’ll move on to other thoughts. Nothing significant comes to mind, so I’ll talk about some thoughts that I’ve had over the past week.
The first topic was about whether I would prefer life over physical and mental capabilities. As I stand now, I would choose death. This is not to say that those who have fought their handicaps and came out victorious were in the wrong. I think it’s up to the person.
I may have plenty to live for even if I lose my physical capabilities but that would not be what I would think about. I would consider myself a burden on those around me who will need to aid me. This falls back on one of my principles. I do not like to depend on others. So, one of two things will happen. Either, I’ll lose my nerve in the face of death and learn to rely on others, or I’ll stay true to my current principles and let the sun set on what I call “my life”.
If I lose my mind, I want to go on record as saying that I want to be put to sleep. I’m perfectly sane right now, so my words should stand. Once I’ve gone nuts or can’t think properly, I become incapable of serving society or God. That, in my mind, implies that my time is up.
The second topic does not come to my mind making me question the shallowness of my mind which is at a degree where I cannot keep track of two topics if I devote my concentration to one.
The display on my clock informs me that it’s a tad after five o’ clock in the morning. As I muse over the vast number of things that I feel I must complete later today, I’m forming the opinion that getting some shut-eye for eight hours would be a waste of time. So I’m planning on messing around for four to five hours after which I will settle down to complete all my tasks. However, the prospect of sleeping for four to five hours is also very appealing and seems to outweigh any other possibilities. My list of tasks is:
Work on website
Study for dynamics test
Do maths assignment perfectly
Spend time with visiting friend
Wake up for breakfast and try waffles.
Though these task appear like they won’t take much time and allow me the luxury of a good sleep, the breakfast in my residence is absolutely divine and worth losing sleep over. Anyhow, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll nap for five hours. The chances of me getting up at the designated time are slim but let’s live life on the edge, shall we? Jeez.
I’ll start off with a memory. I was at an amusement park and about to conquer a ride that I was slightly in awe of. The ride was called the Space Shot. It was a hundred metre high square tower with four seats on each side. The ride itself consisted of shooting the apprehensive riders to the top of the tower in three seconds. After they reached the top, they had a second or two to catch their breath and admire the view. After that, they plummeted to the bottom. After a few shorter repetitions of the ride, the shaky riders were released from their constrictive seats to stagger off to their loved ones and tell them about their daring experience. This is a dramatic exaggeration of the episode. The first time on it was probably the most exhilarating. I knew what was going to happen but not having experienced it, I was a bit hesitant in letting those restraints strap me down to those seats. Of course, the ride is perfectly safe so I was in no danger so I wasn’t scared. However, I wasn’t sure that I needed to go through with it. I find this recollection amusing as I type it out. Anyhow, the ride was great. I was quite impressed with it. Seeing that there was no queue, I asked for another go. The second, third and fourth rides were still entertaining. On the fifth ride, I closely followed the ride attendant’s hand as he reached for the ignition button. I was completely ready for the sudden rush of being thrust up into the sky. However, the button was pressed and I was gone. I knew what was going to happen and how it was going to happen. Yet, I had the familiar feeling of surprise that I experienced on my first ride. There’s just no preparing for that ride. You’ll understand why I related this story later on… hopefully.
When I first penned the previous chapter, I felt that there was nothing offensive in the contents. On the contrary, after “Artsie” read through the chapter, he told me that I was too harsh and deserved to be punched out for it. His “review” of it made me anticipate my first meeting with “Hyper Dude” after he had read my chapter too. Otherwise, I didn’t think much of it.
Earlier yesterday, I was at the gym with “Artsie” when he mentioned that “Hyper Dude” had perused my previous chapter. However, I was more intent on getting through my exercise routine and getting downstairs to eat, so I didn’t pay much attention besides acknowledging the recent information. “Artsie” told me that he wanted to go eat at six o’ clock. He asked me whether “Hyper Dude” would join us. That’s when something interesting happened. “Hyper Dude” had been out the previous night and had gone to sleep around five in the morning. Thinking that he would be exhausted, I told “Artsie” that “Hyper Dude” would get up between a quarter past four and half-past. He would then proceed to take a shower, brush his teeth and spend approximately forty-five minutes on the internet checking his mail and communicating through MSN. He would then call around and gather the usual gang to go eat at half-past five. However, “Artsie” and I were in the gym and wouldn’t be there to answer the invite. After the two of us completed our non-sweat-breaking workouts, we headed upstairs at a quarter to six. I was in my room for five minutes when I got a call from “Artsie”. He informed me that “Hyper Dude” had left a message on his machine saying that he was going down to eat. The time at which the message was left was at half-past five. My first sentence went something along the lines of “Ha! I told you”. At the time, I wondered why “Hyper Dude” hadn’t left a message for me too. I dismissed the thought thinking that he may have called but didn’t bother leaving a message. Didn’t matter.
So I head down to the dining room hoping to catch “Hyper Dude” before he left. I bumped into him and “The Cheshire Cat” leaving the dining room. They weren’t interested in staying so I waited for “Artsie” to join me. The two of us ate and then headed up to Floor 11 where “Banana Man”, “The Cheshire Cat” and “Hyper Dude” resided. I went to “Banana Man” and “The Cheshire Cat’s” room while “Artsie” went off to “Hyper Dude’s” room. As it turned out, “The Cheshire Cat” and “Hyper Dude” had gone off to a nearby mall. “Artsie” popped by, not having found “Hyper Dude”. “Banana Man” was on his way to dine so we decided to join him. How can I pass up another meal? While we’re eating, the conversation turned to the short episode in the gym. I wondered whether it was pure luck or there was something to these “predictions”. So I told the others that I expected that “Hyper Dude” had tried the Halal food, didn’t like it and settled with pasta and a couple of slices of pizza. As for “The Cheshire Cat”, he would have passed up flank steak and gone with pasta only. The rest of the meal passed uneventfully though jovially. I headed up and spent a few hours messing around. I was to later find out that my guesses were dead-on except that “Hyper Dude” did not check his mail.
I got a call from “Hyper Dude” around eleven o’ clock. He wanted me to join him in his room. “Artsie” was already there. I went down and joined the two. The majority of the next hour was spent talking about music. There was only a fleeting reference to my chapter. As “Artsie” and I got up to leave, “Hyper Dude” asked me to stay a while and talk. I thought “Why not?” Whatever “Hyper Dude” and I talked about is between the two of us but it was very interesting. This brings me back to the story I started off with. I knew what was going to happen and I knew what the reaction would be. However, even though everything went as I expected them to, I was surprised.
“Hyper Dude” and I spent almost two hours after that talking. It wasn’t wholly serious. The last half of our talk was just like we used to talk before my chapter. When we would talk about everything and enjoy our conversations. When “Hyper Dude” got up and left for his room to slumber, I remember thinking about something he mentioned earlier. I had been mistaken. It was true that our friendship had stagnated. Our friendship had reached its peak. It couldn’t get any better than it was. I hadn’t realised that until we began to talk the way we used to.
Now this brings to mind my previous chapter. I wrote “When I think about the number of friends that I’ve made over the years, I’m hard-pressed to find a single one that I feel I still am as closely linked to”. When I think about it, I couldn’t have put “Sis” on it. I was trying to think of friends who I was still closely linked to. Since my friendship with “Sis” came to an end, I couldn’t be closely linked to her. So she shouldn’t be on the list. “Hyper Dude” was not on the list and I still do not think he should be on the list. That would be because my friendship with “Hyper Dude” got stronger and better over the past several months before ultimately “stagnating” as I so bluntly put it. We’ve spent so much time together that we’ve become synonymous. It’s not often that one is seen without the other. Like I mentioned before, I was mistaken in thinking that our friendship had stagnated in a bad way. In fact, I’m glad that our friendship had settled at the perfect point.
Well, that’s all I’ve got to say about the previous chapter as everything stands currently. Perhaps I was mistaken in airing out the dirty laundry but since it has been done, I’m going to make sure that I parade through the neighbourhood to let everyone understand that I do have some clean clothes too.
It sounds to me that I’m tripping over my own feet as I try to explain my previous chapter. I’m sure that’s how everyone else will feel including “Hyper Dude”. Not that I would or can blame anyone. I admitted that I didn’t look at the “stagnation” the right way, but that was after I talked to “Hyper Dude”. The fact that I did not realise it before the conversation is what really places my head on the guillotine. Actually, the fact that I didn’t realise it straight off the bat is what in my opinion makes the blade blunt. Whether that blade kills me or not isn’t the point. It’s the pain that comes with being hit with a falling blunt blade. If I survive, that pain serves to remind me that my thoughts placed my head on death’s table in the first place, but I was still lucky to walk away with just a bruise or deep wound. If I’m struck fatally wounded by the blunt blade, my last thoughts would probably be that I deserved the blunt blade for not covering all angles like I always say I do.
I offer no apologies yet I ask to be pardoned for my mistake.
Now, I’ll move on to other thoughts. Nothing significant comes to mind, so I’ll talk about some thoughts that I’ve had over the past week.
The first topic was about whether I would prefer life over physical and mental capabilities. As I stand now, I would choose death. This is not to say that those who have fought their handicaps and came out victorious were in the wrong. I think it’s up to the person.
I may have plenty to live for even if I lose my physical capabilities but that would not be what I would think about. I would consider myself a burden on those around me who will need to aid me. This falls back on one of my principles. I do not like to depend on others. So, one of two things will happen. Either, I’ll lose my nerve in the face of death and learn to rely on others, or I’ll stay true to my current principles and let the sun set on what I call “my life”.
If I lose my mind, I want to go on record as saying that I want to be put to sleep. I’m perfectly sane right now, so my words should stand. Once I’ve gone nuts or can’t think properly, I become incapable of serving society or God. That, in my mind, implies that my time is up.
The second topic does not come to my mind making me question the shallowness of my mind which is at a degree where I cannot keep track of two topics if I devote my concentration to one.
The display on my clock informs me that it’s a tad after five o’ clock in the morning. As I muse over the vast number of things that I feel I must complete later today, I’m forming the opinion that getting some shut-eye for eight hours would be a waste of time. So I’m planning on messing around for four to five hours after which I will settle down to complete all my tasks. However, the prospect of sleeping for four to five hours is also very appealing and seems to outweigh any other possibilities. My list of tasks is:
Work on website
Study for dynamics test
Do maths assignment perfectly
Spend time with visiting friend
Wake up for breakfast and try waffles.
Though these task appear like they won’t take much time and allow me the luxury of a good sleep, the breakfast in my residence is absolutely divine and worth losing sleep over. Anyhow, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll nap for five hours. The chances of me getting up at the designated time are slim but let’s live life on the edge, shall we? Jeez.
