Stereotypes
Simply put, I hate this world. Those are strong words coming for me for I do not like using the word hate. I find it too harsh. I prefer something less severe.
Before I start, let me say that I’m expressing both my own opinions and those of others. I would like to think that I’ve made the distinction between the two clear through my words.
The whole world has seemingly sunk into a stereotype. If anything doesn’t conform to the expected stereotype, then some bizarre reason is concocted to explain this weird phenomenon.
Let’s start off something simple. My supper conversation from yesterday got me started. “Hyper Dude” claims that some passing person is definitely Egyptian. Gee! Tell us O’ Guru! How did you arrive at this conclusion? The reply just struck me as being so incredulous! “He has curly hair!” he claimed confidently! After a deep breath where I let his reply sink in, I ask him “So all Egyptians have curly hair? You made that assumption from the few Egyptians that you know?” He adamantly claims that he has seen hundreds of Egyptians and they all had curly hair including the women. Alright, you moronic arse! That’s one of the most idiotic theories I’ve heard. You can’t base the fact on a few examples. He may be right about that curly haired kid but we don’t know. That didn’t matter. It was the fact that he claimed something based on - - stereotype. I spouted off two simple counter-examples right there and this is where the above mentioned “bizarre reason” is generated. They straightened their hair out. Ok! They might have straightened out their hair. That’s not rare amongst people. However, you can’t say they straightened it out. He’s willing to accept that reason but he’s reluctant to accept the fact that maybe some Egyptians have straight hair.
“Artsie” interrupts with a good point which contradicts “Hyper Dude”. I found this amusing since I noticed several similar traits in both “Artsie” and “Hyper Dude” and they often had the same opinions on things. I was glad to see that “Artsie” had some common sense in him at least. “Artsie” says that saying that all Egyptians have curly hair is like saying that all Pakistanis have brown eyes. “Hyper Dude” denies this and said that “Artsie” can’t say that. There are plenty of Pakistanis with coloured eyes. A thought just occurred to me which I should have mentioned at that conversation. “Well, they must be wearing contact lenses, then. That’s the only possible explanation.” That’s basically a taste of “Hyper Dude’s” own medicine. I could just as easily make up my own justification for why all Pakistanis MUST have brown eyes.
Let’s move on. I was watching some stand-up comedian. Overall, I found the show funny. I even laughed when he too made stereotypical assumptions. However, he was mocking people who went along with these stereotypes. Every stereotypical comment he made me realise that he too was trying to show that our world is too immersed in stereotype.
This is where it gets interesting. Stereotype in love and relationships. Why can’t simple relationships exist between guys and girls? Sure they can. They do and they flourish. However, here’s the general opinion that I’ve picked up. Guys are only friends with girls because they want to see if they can “get with her”. That’s pathetic. Ok, that sentence has loads of flaws and is easily refutable. Here’s a certain sentence from a conversation with a friend. “i used to be around girls all the time, i was a magnet”. This sentence was meant to say that at the time, my friend was fine with being chums with girls. He isn’t saying that he was appealing to girls or anything. Just that he was friends with several of them. Now here’s my question. Given his current personality, would he still be as appealing to girls? I’m not saying that his current persona is repulsive or anything, but I’m saying that if he behaves around girls in a way similar to his present character, would that girl find him “a magnet”? Let’s move on.
Suppose I’ve made friends with some new girl. Ceding to stereotype myself, I tend to garnish my talks and time spent with that girl to make myself appear to be a ladies’ man. Of course, all my listeners are well aware that I’m no such man and am just talking out of my arse. They do hear the actual story, eventually. In my mind, the girl is a friend and that’s all I expect her to be. A friend. Now let’s bring in stereotype. Since I’m friends with this girl, I so obviously lust after her and want her but am afraid to say anything so am content remaining her friend. My “loins are burning” and I have this overwhelming desire to just be with that girl. Please! That’s sickening. Sadly, it’s true in most cases, but I do not say that it’s a given that every guy lusts after every girl for some virtue or the other that she possesses i.e. I don’t believe in this “stereotypical guy”. However, he exists in the minds of more people than I would like.
A close friend of mine confessed to me that she had been reluctant to get into a relationship since she didn’t know if it would last. She was basically afraid of being hurt. Why? What grounds does she base her assumption on? Well, there are several logical reasons which can explain her fears. Perhaps the two aren’t meant for each other. Perhaps they are forced to split. Whatever the reason is, her dread is not unfounded. Let’s see what stereotype has to say about this. Well, the guy obviously just wants to be with this girl for as long as she’s devoted to him and “amuses” him. Once he feels that she’s getting old or becoming a burden, he’ll just move on to the next girl. It’s happened so often, that this is associated with stereotypical guys. It’s similar to “One-Night Stands”.
I decided to ponder upon my friendships with girls. My upbringing has taught me to be cautious and aware of how close I get to girls. I’m glad that I was brought up that way. The only downfall that I see is that perhaps I’ve come to treat relationships to be a major thing. It’s entirely possible that I’m making them out to be much more complex than they really are. I’ve never been in a relationship so what am I basing my theories on? Stories from others and observations of other relationships? Wouldn’t that make me believe a stereotype? Shouldn’t I find out first-hand how complex (or simple) relationships really are? I’m willing to find out since I don’t know how reliable stereotypical information is. Yet, my willingness is not strong enough for me to overcome my resolve to remain single until I’m independent.
The last sentence brings to mind yet another stereotype. In being friends with girls, I’ve changed how I consider them. My mind was slowly being warped into looking at them as personal conquests or what-not. This was because I was surrounded by people whose minds had similarly mutated much earlier and was seemingly beyond repair. Yet, I found that my resistance to believe everything I was told by others led me to look into friendships with girls. So after a few courage-plucking minutes, I would walk up to some girl who I had casually talked to and have more “friendship” type questions. I found that there was just so much more to girls than guys notice. From conversations that I’ve had with other guys, it seems that they are content to let their eyes pass judgement on girls. What about her character? Doesn’t that count for anything to you guys? “Huh? What did you say? I was too busy ogling at her!” Forget it.
I’ve already talked about this at the end of my last chapter. I said that guys attracted to a girl’s persona will automatically find her looks striking too. How many guys have actually gone past the looks stage to find out more about some girl? An ugly girl isn’t worth being told the time of day whereas the beautiful girl deserves nothing less than the best. The beautiful girl MIGHT turn out to be spoilt and snobbish. Yet, she still gets everything and the ugly girl is still cast out of the picture. Doesn’t anyone care to notice that PERHAPS the ugly girl has a much better character? Whatever.
“Hyper Dude” has often questioned my preferences. Is it possible that I could like a girl? He almost seems to doubt it. I don’t care. In my opinion, I’m doing what I’ve said I always do. I’m looking at situations from all angles. Would a girl like being considered nothing more than eye-candy? I suspect not. It’s conceivable that they might be flattered but if that’s all that they are limited to being, then I’m sure that they’ll get tired of being stared at pretty quickly. Therefore, when I consider the situation from a girl’s point of view, I don’t really like what I’m seeing. This in turn, affects my own take on the situation and I understand the scenario a bit better. All this would not be possible if I had let my mind keep transmuting like the others had. (A thought strikes me. Perhaps these guys haven’t become as hopeless as I make them out to be. However, I’ve received no indication to prove me wrong, so I’ll stick with my opinion of them for now)
So does my realisation (or misconception of realisation) place my “preferences” under question? It doesn’t matter. I’m just happy that I’m not as superficial as so many others. If I’m in touch with a side that’s more concerned with the personal side of a girl, then if and when I do find love, I’ll know that I’m in love with the character of that girl; not what they show but what they are.
“Artsie” mentioned in his blog that his thoughts were rushing around so quickly in his mind that he could barely comprehend them. I can say the same which could explain why my newest chapter is late by a few days. I knew that my new chapter would eventually talk about relationships but I was not sure exactly what I would talk about or whether I would have much to say. The separate incidents about stereotypes just sparked off a long chain of thoughts that gave me my material to write.
On to the lighter side of life. I’ve been playing a lot of Counter-Strike with my group of close friends. The game leaves much to be desired and I would never pursue playing this online with people I don’t know. It’s only when I play with people I know that I enjoy the game. Talking with each other about strategies, past games and amazing conquests makes the game fun. I always thought that I would be horrible at this game since I refused to play it but I found to my surprise that I’m fairly good at it (if I say so myself). Yet the game still does nothing for me. After I play Counter-strike, I feel like I need to satisfy my needs in the areas that the game wasn’t able to fulfil. For that, I turn to a real multiplayer game. Command & Conquer Renegade. A game that I’ve owned for more than 2 and a half years. A game that I still play with the same fetish that I started off with. The action may not be as fast-paced as it is in Counter-strike but Renegade just has so much to offer. Halo was a step ahead of Renegade when it came out but it did not appeal to me as much. Perhaps it was because I felt linked to Renegade or because Halo seemed to be too simple. So Renegade remained the mainstay of my gaming world. When I heard about Renegade II coming out, I was delighted and made a mental note to purchase it as soon as it came out… even pre-order it, if I saw fit. When EA took over Westwood and scrapped the development of Renegade, I joined millions of others in the protest and signed the petition fervently hoping to make a difference. Yet, our pleas fell upon deaf ears and I stand deprived of a game that had the inkling of being able to outdo Renegade. Now I await a game that can replace Renegade but until that day comes, I’m sure that I’ll stick with Renegade.
(Back to the dark side) I often feel like I’m Renegade itself. Every now and then, I get the impression that I approach friendship the wrong way and take it for granted. I assume that I’ll find friends easily and never need to worry. That’s not what bothers me. What’s disturbing is that I almost feel that I chose my friends. Yeah, we all choose our friends but that’s not what I mean. What I’m trying to ask is why friends stick with me? I offer them nothing and expect quite a bit in my opinion. I blow them off, I ignore their requests and advice and scoff at them between making personal jibes at them. So what in the world would keep them by my side? The simple answer would be friendship. That bond people share. My question is: Why does friendship occur in my case? I feel that I myself wouldn’t be friends with me yet why do these other people not have the same opinion? What is it in me that they think is worth the suffering that I inflict on them? Why is it that I keep showering them with the abuse even after I’ve realised that they could walk off and leave me be? I guess it would be because I take my friendships for granted and don’t consider the consequences of what would happen when I stop a friendship.
“Artsie” wrote “Talking with an open heart to an audience usually leads to complications, especially those which involve extremely close friends and conversations with them which are meant to be classified.” That makes perfect sense to me and it’s the same belief that I hold. Then why do I come back week after week writing about my thoughts and talking frankly about anything? Is it because I feel untouchable through the internet and feel that nothing bad can happen to me as a result? Or is it that I’ve finally found an outlet for me to release my thoughts? It could be that I’ve found a new way to torture my friends and mock them until they only associate my chapters with hurt and misery. I dispute the first possible reason. I know that I’m not untouchable since the readers are people who I see everyday. That’s excluding two to three readers who I regularly talk to through the internet. I have not let my chapters get too wide-spread since I do not think that now’s the time. So, I can’t be untouchable when I make fun of my friends since I see them everyday and am subject to their reactions.
I reiterate “I no doubt deserve my enemies, but I don’t believe I deserved my friends”.
Before I start, let me say that I’m expressing both my own opinions and those of others. I would like to think that I’ve made the distinction between the two clear through my words.
The whole world has seemingly sunk into a stereotype. If anything doesn’t conform to the expected stereotype, then some bizarre reason is concocted to explain this weird phenomenon.
Let’s start off something simple. My supper conversation from yesterday got me started. “Hyper Dude” claims that some passing person is definitely Egyptian. Gee! Tell us O’ Guru! How did you arrive at this conclusion? The reply just struck me as being so incredulous! “He has curly hair!” he claimed confidently! After a deep breath where I let his reply sink in, I ask him “So all Egyptians have curly hair? You made that assumption from the few Egyptians that you know?” He adamantly claims that he has seen hundreds of Egyptians and they all had curly hair including the women. Alright, you moronic arse! That’s one of the most idiotic theories I’ve heard. You can’t base the fact on a few examples. He may be right about that curly haired kid but we don’t know. That didn’t matter. It was the fact that he claimed something based on - - stereotype. I spouted off two simple counter-examples right there and this is where the above mentioned “bizarre reason” is generated. They straightened their hair out. Ok! They might have straightened out their hair. That’s not rare amongst people. However, you can’t say they straightened it out. He’s willing to accept that reason but he’s reluctant to accept the fact that maybe some Egyptians have straight hair.
“Artsie” interrupts with a good point which contradicts “Hyper Dude”. I found this amusing since I noticed several similar traits in both “Artsie” and “Hyper Dude” and they often had the same opinions on things. I was glad to see that “Artsie” had some common sense in him at least. “Artsie” says that saying that all Egyptians have curly hair is like saying that all Pakistanis have brown eyes. “Hyper Dude” denies this and said that “Artsie” can’t say that. There are plenty of Pakistanis with coloured eyes. A thought just occurred to me which I should have mentioned at that conversation. “Well, they must be wearing contact lenses, then. That’s the only possible explanation.” That’s basically a taste of “Hyper Dude’s” own medicine. I could just as easily make up my own justification for why all Pakistanis MUST have brown eyes.
Let’s move on. I was watching some stand-up comedian. Overall, I found the show funny. I even laughed when he too made stereotypical assumptions. However, he was mocking people who went along with these stereotypes. Every stereotypical comment he made me realise that he too was trying to show that our world is too immersed in stereotype.
This is where it gets interesting. Stereotype in love and relationships. Why can’t simple relationships exist between guys and girls? Sure they can. They do and they flourish. However, here’s the general opinion that I’ve picked up. Guys are only friends with girls because they want to see if they can “get with her”. That’s pathetic. Ok, that sentence has loads of flaws and is easily refutable. Here’s a certain sentence from a conversation with a friend. “i used to be around girls all the time, i was a magnet”. This sentence was meant to say that at the time, my friend was fine with being chums with girls. He isn’t saying that he was appealing to girls or anything. Just that he was friends with several of them. Now here’s my question. Given his current personality, would he still be as appealing to girls? I’m not saying that his current persona is repulsive or anything, but I’m saying that if he behaves around girls in a way similar to his present character, would that girl find him “a magnet”? Let’s move on.
Suppose I’ve made friends with some new girl. Ceding to stereotype myself, I tend to garnish my talks and time spent with that girl to make myself appear to be a ladies’ man. Of course, all my listeners are well aware that I’m no such man and am just talking out of my arse. They do hear the actual story, eventually. In my mind, the girl is a friend and that’s all I expect her to be. A friend. Now let’s bring in stereotype. Since I’m friends with this girl, I so obviously lust after her and want her but am afraid to say anything so am content remaining her friend. My “loins are burning” and I have this overwhelming desire to just be with that girl. Please! That’s sickening. Sadly, it’s true in most cases, but I do not say that it’s a given that every guy lusts after every girl for some virtue or the other that she possesses i.e. I don’t believe in this “stereotypical guy”. However, he exists in the minds of more people than I would like.
A close friend of mine confessed to me that she had been reluctant to get into a relationship since she didn’t know if it would last. She was basically afraid of being hurt. Why? What grounds does she base her assumption on? Well, there are several logical reasons which can explain her fears. Perhaps the two aren’t meant for each other. Perhaps they are forced to split. Whatever the reason is, her dread is not unfounded. Let’s see what stereotype has to say about this. Well, the guy obviously just wants to be with this girl for as long as she’s devoted to him and “amuses” him. Once he feels that she’s getting old or becoming a burden, he’ll just move on to the next girl. It’s happened so often, that this is associated with stereotypical guys. It’s similar to “One-Night Stands”.
I decided to ponder upon my friendships with girls. My upbringing has taught me to be cautious and aware of how close I get to girls. I’m glad that I was brought up that way. The only downfall that I see is that perhaps I’ve come to treat relationships to be a major thing. It’s entirely possible that I’m making them out to be much more complex than they really are. I’ve never been in a relationship so what am I basing my theories on? Stories from others and observations of other relationships? Wouldn’t that make me believe a stereotype? Shouldn’t I find out first-hand how complex (or simple) relationships really are? I’m willing to find out since I don’t know how reliable stereotypical information is. Yet, my willingness is not strong enough for me to overcome my resolve to remain single until I’m independent.
The last sentence brings to mind yet another stereotype. In being friends with girls, I’ve changed how I consider them. My mind was slowly being warped into looking at them as personal conquests or what-not. This was because I was surrounded by people whose minds had similarly mutated much earlier and was seemingly beyond repair. Yet, I found that my resistance to believe everything I was told by others led me to look into friendships with girls. So after a few courage-plucking minutes, I would walk up to some girl who I had casually talked to and have more “friendship” type questions. I found that there was just so much more to girls than guys notice. From conversations that I’ve had with other guys, it seems that they are content to let their eyes pass judgement on girls. What about her character? Doesn’t that count for anything to you guys? “Huh? What did you say? I was too busy ogling at her!” Forget it.
I’ve already talked about this at the end of my last chapter. I said that guys attracted to a girl’s persona will automatically find her looks striking too. How many guys have actually gone past the looks stage to find out more about some girl? An ugly girl isn’t worth being told the time of day whereas the beautiful girl deserves nothing less than the best. The beautiful girl MIGHT turn out to be spoilt and snobbish. Yet, she still gets everything and the ugly girl is still cast out of the picture. Doesn’t anyone care to notice that PERHAPS the ugly girl has a much better character? Whatever.
“Hyper Dude” has often questioned my preferences. Is it possible that I could like a girl? He almost seems to doubt it. I don’t care. In my opinion, I’m doing what I’ve said I always do. I’m looking at situations from all angles. Would a girl like being considered nothing more than eye-candy? I suspect not. It’s conceivable that they might be flattered but if that’s all that they are limited to being, then I’m sure that they’ll get tired of being stared at pretty quickly. Therefore, when I consider the situation from a girl’s point of view, I don’t really like what I’m seeing. This in turn, affects my own take on the situation and I understand the scenario a bit better. All this would not be possible if I had let my mind keep transmuting like the others had. (A thought strikes me. Perhaps these guys haven’t become as hopeless as I make them out to be. However, I’ve received no indication to prove me wrong, so I’ll stick with my opinion of them for now)
So does my realisation (or misconception of realisation) place my “preferences” under question? It doesn’t matter. I’m just happy that I’m not as superficial as so many others. If I’m in touch with a side that’s more concerned with the personal side of a girl, then if and when I do find love, I’ll know that I’m in love with the character of that girl; not what they show but what they are.
“Artsie” mentioned in his blog that his thoughts were rushing around so quickly in his mind that he could barely comprehend them. I can say the same which could explain why my newest chapter is late by a few days. I knew that my new chapter would eventually talk about relationships but I was not sure exactly what I would talk about or whether I would have much to say. The separate incidents about stereotypes just sparked off a long chain of thoughts that gave me my material to write.
On to the lighter side of life. I’ve been playing a lot of Counter-Strike with my group of close friends. The game leaves much to be desired and I would never pursue playing this online with people I don’t know. It’s only when I play with people I know that I enjoy the game. Talking with each other about strategies, past games and amazing conquests makes the game fun. I always thought that I would be horrible at this game since I refused to play it but I found to my surprise that I’m fairly good at it (if I say so myself). Yet the game still does nothing for me. After I play Counter-strike, I feel like I need to satisfy my needs in the areas that the game wasn’t able to fulfil. For that, I turn to a real multiplayer game. Command & Conquer Renegade. A game that I’ve owned for more than 2 and a half years. A game that I still play with the same fetish that I started off with. The action may not be as fast-paced as it is in Counter-strike but Renegade just has so much to offer. Halo was a step ahead of Renegade when it came out but it did not appeal to me as much. Perhaps it was because I felt linked to Renegade or because Halo seemed to be too simple. So Renegade remained the mainstay of my gaming world. When I heard about Renegade II coming out, I was delighted and made a mental note to purchase it as soon as it came out… even pre-order it, if I saw fit. When EA took over Westwood and scrapped the development of Renegade, I joined millions of others in the protest and signed the petition fervently hoping to make a difference. Yet, our pleas fell upon deaf ears and I stand deprived of a game that had the inkling of being able to outdo Renegade. Now I await a game that can replace Renegade but until that day comes, I’m sure that I’ll stick with Renegade.
(Back to the dark side) I often feel like I’m Renegade itself. Every now and then, I get the impression that I approach friendship the wrong way and take it for granted. I assume that I’ll find friends easily and never need to worry. That’s not what bothers me. What’s disturbing is that I almost feel that I chose my friends. Yeah, we all choose our friends but that’s not what I mean. What I’m trying to ask is why friends stick with me? I offer them nothing and expect quite a bit in my opinion. I blow them off, I ignore their requests and advice and scoff at them between making personal jibes at them. So what in the world would keep them by my side? The simple answer would be friendship. That bond people share. My question is: Why does friendship occur in my case? I feel that I myself wouldn’t be friends with me yet why do these other people not have the same opinion? What is it in me that they think is worth the suffering that I inflict on them? Why is it that I keep showering them with the abuse even after I’ve realised that they could walk off and leave me be? I guess it would be because I take my friendships for granted and don’t consider the consequences of what would happen when I stop a friendship.
“Artsie” wrote “Talking with an open heart to an audience usually leads to complications, especially those which involve extremely close friends and conversations with them which are meant to be classified.” That makes perfect sense to me and it’s the same belief that I hold. Then why do I come back week after week writing about my thoughts and talking frankly about anything? Is it because I feel untouchable through the internet and feel that nothing bad can happen to me as a result? Or is it that I’ve finally found an outlet for me to release my thoughts? It could be that I’ve found a new way to torture my friends and mock them until they only associate my chapters with hurt and misery. I dispute the first possible reason. I know that I’m not untouchable since the readers are people who I see everyday. That’s excluding two to three readers who I regularly talk to through the internet. I have not let my chapters get too wide-spread since I do not think that now’s the time. So, I can’t be untouchable when I make fun of my friends since I see them everyday and am subject to their reactions.
I reiterate “I no doubt deserve my enemies, but I don’t believe I deserved my friends”.
