Obiter Dicta

Haha! Blog wars are in full effect. Everyone who blogs has been sucked in. Except for “Banana Man” who’s not blogging these days and “Hyper Dude” who… well, let’s just leave it at… doesn’t have the time to read our blogs much less write his own.

Curse you “Banana Man” for introducing us to this medium of conversation. It’s bad enough that we’re addicted to MSN (I’m not talking about “Midas” or me here)

By the way, “Powerpuff”, I know I get confusing every now and then but when you try to comment on my ambiguous sentences, you talk about them in your own style of writing. So my sentence can now not be understood because it’s too complex (my doing) and because it’s so horribly written out (your doing).

Ok, quick view of what’s changed. Absolutely nothing, really. Got exams starting on the 14th of April. Almost time to go back to Dubai. It’ll be fun (I hope).

Ok, I’ve got four blog pages open right now and I know I don’t have to but I want to comment on all of them. Let’s start with the mildest.

“Midas” – I can’t believe it. I read over your blog twice and still nothing comes to mind. Could I have nothing to argue about? Well… you did agree with “Artsie” and I’ve got beef with him. Hmm, we might be getting serious about the blogs but it hasn’t degraded into face-to-face arguments and hair pulling. Right now, it’s full cyber wars. The hair pulling comes on Tuesday! Bwahaha! Oh! I was expecting a reply to the last blog I posted but I guess you said everything in the subway, so it’s all good. Ok, now I close your window.

“Froggie” – It seems to me that you deleted a couple of your blogs which you posted on Friday. Well, I do agree with you. Looks like my blogs have started a whole bunch of activity. However, I think we have “Banana Man” to thank for that. He analysed me which somewhat sparked the sudden expression of opinions by everyone.

You can’t avoid criticism by doing nothing at all. Then people will pick on you for being so dull and inactive. And, Who The Heck Is “Grim”? One of us should post a blog with all the pseudonyms and the characters, so we all know who is who. Ok, close this window.

I didn’t know whether to argue with “Powerpuff” first or with “Artsie”. However, since I have more to say to “Powerpuff”, she’ll come last. Don’t worry, I’ll take it easy on her.

“Artsie” – Ok, your first point proved what “Banana Man” and I were talking about to some extent. Basically, “Banana Man” said that if you cared to think about what we were talking about, you would ultimately stop caring because it didn’t matter to you. <- Badly phrased but I like it this way. Second Point – I know we don’t live on opposite sides of the world (unfortunately says I while looking pointedly at “Hyper Dude”. People people! I’m just kidding. If I didn’t say that, “Hyper Dude” will get riled up and my parents will become worried even more. Speaking of which, I need to address my parents too!). Anyhow, I don’t call “Powerpuff” mainly because I don’t have her number. Remind me to get that off you. I know “Froggie” gave them to me but I was not on my computer so I couldn’t note them down. As for chatting… well, you know that I’m not using MSN so chatting isn’t ‘feasible’. You know very well that I can say something to someone’s face with no fear. However, it’s more fun letting them read it here and it also keeps everyone else ‘in the loop’. You’re too impatient. Waiting to find out how the other replies is half the enjoyment. If you had everything laid out in front of you, you’d get bored of it all pretty quickly. This way, you’re actually living in this story! Third point – I didn’t say that I didn’t want people commenting on what I wrote. I just said that I didn’t want them commenting on what I wrote in person. In blogs or e-mail is fine. I don’t mind if you talk about blogs or something about the blogs but I don’t want to have discussions with you about my blog mainly because of the reason I mentioned a couple of blogs ago and also because I need to be in the right mood to be philosophical. I don’t blog when I begin thinking deeply. Rather, I think deeply when I blog. It’s like I’m immune to writer’s block. I think that’s pretty apparent from the length of my blogs. Hopefully, I’ll be immune even when I become a journalist! Fourth point. You’re going to come after me if I didn’t say all this to your face. Well, I’ve already said it to your face and now I’m putting it here for all to see. Also, you said that you would prefer it if I posted what happened after the ‘confrontations’, so let me tell everyone what happened. Basically, I turned to you during supper and rattled off my arguments against your four points (in a lot less detail) and that was the end of that. You didn’t say anything and I didn’t continue either. Yes, I see your point. This sounds a lot more interesting than actually having replied in my blog and letting you retort in yours. Time to move on to “Powerpuff” – Sorry laddy! Since you were talking to me one paragraph, I assumed that you were still talking about me in the next. I didn’t know that we were supposed to play a guessing game where we had to figure out to whom you’re talking to and when you’re talking to him/her. Also, it appears you missed the stupid joke I made. I said that I would fight it out but I wouldn’t kickbox. It’s a contradiction, yes and no. I can fight it out but I’m not hitting a girl so I would lose. Plus, I said that it’s not worth fighting my best friend over a girl. Therefore, I wouldn’t fight in this case. If you brought along some stranger and laid down the same stipulations, I’d fight him. It’s simple! (Jeez parents! I’m not having anger issues. We’re all still talking about the same THEORETICAL situation.) I never said I was going to get violent. I was just jokingly replying to “Midas’” blog. She suggested kickboxing and I just played along. No matter whether we fight or not, I would like to see the girl give my best friend a chance. Once he crashes and burns, I’ll swoop back in. Hahahaha! Nah! I hope the best for those two.

Actually, you’re pretty close to interpreting my disclaimer. Except, I don’t care whether anyone reads it or not, comments on it or not or agrees with it or not (even though the last one seems untrue). I’m just presenting my side to everything that I talk about.

I know I’ve made a difference when I get a person to sit and listen to what I have to say for then I’ll know that they are willing to hear me out. I know I’ve made a difference when people want to read my blogs (however controversial they may be) but don’t agree with most of the things I say.

You misunderstood “Artsie”. He’s not talking about you and me when he mentioned the psychoanalysis. He was talking about “Banana Man” and I. “Midas” is dammit. Don’t listen to a word she says. If she talks too much, just point out a soft earlobe. While you’re at it, burn his Lipton teabags and drown “Froggie” in Lemon Juice.

I can’t believe you actually counted the paragraphs of my blog to find the phrase you wanted. Getting bored of studying? Wanted something ‘fun’ to do? Actually, I’m talking about the people around me so my blogs aren’t ‘fictional’. All my blogs revolve around me complaining about them and a few other things that just enter my mind.

The rest of the stuff you wrote about is all what you think so I’m not arguing with that. I don’t want to enter the “Twilight Zone”

Uff Stupid!

“AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!”

Now! Where was I? Ah yes, time to move onto the parents. There’s nothing psychologically wrong with me. I’ve been like this for a long time and you never thought anything was wrong before. So what if I’m expressing myself now? You’re always talking about how we should let you know what we’re thinking. Well, here’s what I think. Yes, I understand that you’re getting worried and have no clue what’s going on here in Canada. Which is why you two are worrying without reason. Everything is fun here. I’m having a blast and I don’t have any worries (well a few, which I’ll address soon). So, the stuff I write in my blog might be crazy and might be troubling but all is well. Anyhow, why would I want to see a psychiatrist? So he can do the same thing the last one did? Try to convince me that there’s nothing wrong with me and that I should stop coming up with imaginary pains just so that I get parental attention? No, if I go to a psychiatrist, I’m so sure that I’d rip into him and make him cry. Then I’d convince him that he has a pain in his leg and see what he does. Nutcases! Yes yes, stop gaping like codfish. I’m joking. (Well, not about the “nutcases” part) If I did go to a psychiatrist, I doubt I’d open up to him. I’m not going to tell him what I think. He can ask me what he wants and I’ll answer him truthfully but I’m not going to break down and start sobbing simply because I so badly want a necklace too but am afraid of the mockery that will ensue after that. NUTCASES! I’m going to crack you! BWAHAHAHA!

Still think I’m psycho? Well, the day I think I’m psychotic; I’ll donate my body to science. After it’s been all mangled and ‘used’, you guys can bury it and engrave the following epitaph:

Here lies our son
Who penned his thoughts for all to see
For our shock was his fun
And our worries, his glee

When he left, he went nuts
And now all we have left are his guts
This isn’t that funny to parents
But I’m in more stitches than tents

You see? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me. Ok, the things that are worrying me. Well, I’ve already talked to you guys about them. Studies, luggage, flight, money, how to spend holiday. So nothing new there. I know, “Spend less time with others and even lesser time blogging and more time studying”. Khoob daba ke parhai karo aur chutiyaan mein mazay karma.

Hmm, I think my next blog will be pretty interesting. I think I’ll write down all the good things about the people around me and the people with me (in my heart… awww) and I’ll even throw in a few good things about inanimate objects. How does that sound? I think it sounds perfectly ‘sane’.

Now, I want to stop here so that I can go have breakfast soon. “WAFFLES!!”

P.S. I’m holding your teabag hostage, “Artsie”!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!