Crappiness
Yeah, I know that's not a word. It's a combo. Crappy and Happiness. I feel like I'm torn between the two. I've been in a fairly good mood all day. Even now, I feel sad. Yet, that doesn't sound right. I have this weird sad smile on my face. Ironic smile would best describe it. I'm in one of those moods where I'm perfectly content to just sit here and listen to music. Yet, the sadness comes from the realisation that I must turn my attention back to life eventually.
I really pity the world. Such selfishness and misery in the world due to people who don't do the right thing. In my current mood, I feel like helping out whoever I come across but no one has accepted my offer yet.
I'm really giddy right now. A friend sent me this new sort of smiley and just looking at that cute little bugger makes me happy.
I've come to despise talking about myself since I feel that I'm just being egotistical. It's not the same thinking as "Banana Man". Yet, I just want to put this moment down for myself to remember later on in life.
I talked about fading out in a recent blog.
There's something that I've always had trouble figuring out. Whether I'm the cold, cruel, sarcastic arse or whether I'm the push-over guy who'll go out of his way to do so much (unasked and uncredited) for the people that matter and still find time to do things for the people who don't.
Time presses down on me to return to the real world and take up my duties again. Yet, I feel more liberated with each moment that passes.
I really pity the world. Such selfishness and misery in the world due to people who don't do the right thing. In my current mood, I feel like helping out whoever I come across but no one has accepted my offer yet.
I'm really giddy right now. A friend sent me this new sort of smiley and just looking at that cute little bugger makes me happy.
I've come to despise talking about myself since I feel that I'm just being egotistical. It's not the same thinking as "Banana Man". Yet, I just want to put this moment down for myself to remember later on in life.
I talked about fading out in a recent blog.
There's something that I've always had trouble figuring out. Whether I'm the cold, cruel, sarcastic arse or whether I'm the push-over guy who'll go out of his way to do so much (unasked and uncredited) for the people that matter and still find time to do things for the people who don't.
Time presses down on me to return to the real world and take up my duties again. Yet, I feel more liberated with each moment that passes.
I've evolved from finding happiness from the simplest things to finding happiness even with nothing at all. I recall that I wrote in one of my earlier blogs about "Having a life so dull that I'm easily excited or leading a life so exciting that I'm rarely impressed." Something like that. I seem to have gone from one extreme to the other.
As far as I can see right now, I'm in Nirvana right now. It's just a feeling that will last until I sleep. Yet, this is the feeling that I'll remember when I wonder when I was the happiest in my life.
I'm really sorry and Thank you!
