Envisage
Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes?
First, to add on to the Dan Brown comments that I made earlier, I have to say that the way everything in his story (the third book I read) seemed to fall into place with real life made the book that much more enjoyable. It put such a different perspective on religion. Looking back at the book, I feel there's so much more to learn.
A question is raised about how God could be both benevolent and all-powerful when there is so much suffering in the world that God has done seemingly nothing about. It almost appears like there's a contradiction. If I had a kid, would I let him skateboard? Yes I would... Even though I know that there's a risk that (s)he would get hurt, I would still let him/her go, because (s)he cannot learn without experiencing it. I can't hold him/her back all the time. We learn through pain. In the same way, if we did not suffer, we would not know learn how to live without pain. That answer made a lot of sense to me even though it wasn't the one that came to my mind. Now that I ponder over it, the answers do have a subtle link. I thought more along the terms of "Without misery, how could you recognise happiness?". There's so much that I don't understand about religion but there's so much that I haven't tried to understand about religion.
Oh, after reading about "Banana Man's" acheivement of 300 posts, I checked up on where I stand. I'm only on my 37th post but I think it just might be possible that my blog is the same in length as his. I'm nearing 43000 words. My goodness, 43000 eternal words of my crap! I think I'm the better magician... They can make animals out of balloons... I can form words from my crap!
There have been times in my life when I have had to make tough decisions which I don't care to make again.
It's always been easier to just give up and let the world surround you. To just say, whatever... let's just do what I want instead of doing what's right. (I wonder if what I wanted to do was also the right thing to do, would I still want to do it?) I can only imagine the happiness that I would have felt if I would have done what I wanted... I also know that whether it was right or wrong at that point of time would have ceased to matter. Eventually, it would have just become a push or be pushed course of action. However, in the long run, it doesn't matter. The right thing is the only thing that matters. I guess that's why people think that I have a bigger stick up my arse than even "Artsie" ever had! Simply because I can control my own desires and go the right way. What the hell, right? I should have fun, right?
I realised that I've learnt to find beauty in the simplest of things. I can look at empty space and still be awestruck. That really helps me pass the time when I have naught else to do. So far, I've only turned to nature when I've been strapped for stuff to do. Yet, I've recently started taking time out just to look out the window and admire... well admire everything.
I've underwent a change over a period of a month. I started finding enjoyment in a lot of simple things. I became a lot happier... Recently, though, I've been starting to revert back to my old self and I'm almost dreading that. Before, I was actually happy to be the person that I was before. Now, I dread becoming that person. Yet, going back to that person seems to have its perks but the people whose opinions I actually respect, have often told me that they prefer the new me.
I've come to realise that there are situations where you don't fit in even though you've been in that situation for ages and ages. You were at the start of that situation and it evolved to the point that you're not suited for it anymore. What can you do? I can pull out of the situation, just silently let the others take the lead or I can try and fit in. Yet, there's something stronger than pride or stubbornness that makes me want to resist fitting in. I don't believe in adjusting to fit into a situation. I believe that the situation should accept me as is. For example... It's like being in a circle of friends. I shouldn't have to change who I am to be part of that group. They should accept me for who I am.
To get back to the point, I don't want to sit back and let others take control. I'm not a follower, I'm a leader, you might say. I can't just sit on my buns and do nothing at all. I have to get up and get out there. So on and so forth. That leaves me with the option of pulling out of the situation. It's like giving up habits. Not that easy but quite simple really. Just work at it. If you bite your nails and you want to stop, just dip your nails in vaseline everytime you wash your hands... that way, when you bite your nails, the taste will make you stop. Eventually, you'll stop. All habits are that simple to break. Yet, there are special circumstances in my situation. Breaking this habit won't affect just me. Then again, I'm letting my pride assume that what I do really affects others.
In the end, it's all what I make of it. I'm not going to treat this problem like it's anything. Mind over matter... something that I've started to believe in after experiencing winter in Toronto.
Every one is going to look at this blog and say that I've gone back to the depressed person that I was before. My last few posts have actually gotten good reviews... appreciation from a few people. I think we can all agree that no matter what state I'm in, I'm always aware enough of it to know how I am. I knew that the first few months of my blogs portrayed me as a serious and depressed person. I know that the last few show a happier fun-loving side of me. There's hardly a moment in my life where I feel at a loss to explain to myself how I'm feeling. I know exactly how I'm feeling and why I'm feeling that. I feel that's a plus point for my character yet I understand the downfall of it too. Right "Puff"? Do you agree with what I've just said?
When I look at this blog, I can understand why people would think that I'm all psycho and depressed. Yet, I see something in this blog that I feel really represents how I've been feeling recently. There's this drive in me that makes me want to get up and just get going. To stop sitting around and doing nothing about life but going out and making it become what I want. Call it ambition or whatever you want. What I've got is a fire in my loins and a shiver down my spine everytime I feel this drive building up. There's no motivation for me to improve myself or to be successful. There's just this drive that gives my eyes a glint and my lips a smirk.
In the words of the immortal Captain in MXC "Gaaaait it on!"!
First, to add on to the Dan Brown comments that I made earlier, I have to say that the way everything in his story (the third book I read) seemed to fall into place with real life made the book that much more enjoyable. It put such a different perspective on religion. Looking back at the book, I feel there's so much more to learn.
A question is raised about how God could be both benevolent and all-powerful when there is so much suffering in the world that God has done seemingly nothing about. It almost appears like there's a contradiction. If I had a kid, would I let him skateboard? Yes I would... Even though I know that there's a risk that (s)he would get hurt, I would still let him/her go, because (s)he cannot learn without experiencing it. I can't hold him/her back all the time. We learn through pain. In the same way, if we did not suffer, we would not know learn how to live without pain. That answer made a lot of sense to me even though it wasn't the one that came to my mind. Now that I ponder over it, the answers do have a subtle link. I thought more along the terms of "Without misery, how could you recognise happiness?". There's so much that I don't understand about religion but there's so much that I haven't tried to understand about religion.
Oh, after reading about "Banana Man's" acheivement of 300 posts, I checked up on where I stand. I'm only on my 37th post but I think it just might be possible that my blog is the same in length as his. I'm nearing 43000 words. My goodness, 43000 eternal words of my crap! I think I'm the better magician... They can make animals out of balloons... I can form words from my crap!
There have been times in my life when I have had to make tough decisions which I don't care to make again.
It's always been easier to just give up and let the world surround you. To just say, whatever... let's just do what I want instead of doing what's right. (I wonder if what I wanted to do was also the right thing to do, would I still want to do it?) I can only imagine the happiness that I would have felt if I would have done what I wanted... I also know that whether it was right or wrong at that point of time would have ceased to matter. Eventually, it would have just become a push or be pushed course of action. However, in the long run, it doesn't matter. The right thing is the only thing that matters. I guess that's why people think that I have a bigger stick up my arse than even "Artsie" ever had! Simply because I can control my own desires and go the right way. What the hell, right? I should have fun, right?
I realised that I've learnt to find beauty in the simplest of things. I can look at empty space and still be awestruck. That really helps me pass the time when I have naught else to do. So far, I've only turned to nature when I've been strapped for stuff to do. Yet, I've recently started taking time out just to look out the window and admire... well admire everything.
I've underwent a change over a period of a month. I started finding enjoyment in a lot of simple things. I became a lot happier... Recently, though, I've been starting to revert back to my old self and I'm almost dreading that. Before, I was actually happy to be the person that I was before. Now, I dread becoming that person. Yet, going back to that person seems to have its perks but the people whose opinions I actually respect, have often told me that they prefer the new me.
I've come to realise that there are situations where you don't fit in even though you've been in that situation for ages and ages. You were at the start of that situation and it evolved to the point that you're not suited for it anymore. What can you do? I can pull out of the situation, just silently let the others take the lead or I can try and fit in. Yet, there's something stronger than pride or stubbornness that makes me want to resist fitting in. I don't believe in adjusting to fit into a situation. I believe that the situation should accept me as is. For example... It's like being in a circle of friends. I shouldn't have to change who I am to be part of that group. They should accept me for who I am.
To get back to the point, I don't want to sit back and let others take control. I'm not a follower, I'm a leader, you might say. I can't just sit on my buns and do nothing at all. I have to get up and get out there. So on and so forth. That leaves me with the option of pulling out of the situation. It's like giving up habits. Not that easy but quite simple really. Just work at it. If you bite your nails and you want to stop, just dip your nails in vaseline everytime you wash your hands... that way, when you bite your nails, the taste will make you stop. Eventually, you'll stop. All habits are that simple to break. Yet, there are special circumstances in my situation. Breaking this habit won't affect just me. Then again, I'm letting my pride assume that what I do really affects others.
In the end, it's all what I make of it. I'm not going to treat this problem like it's anything. Mind over matter... something that I've started to believe in after experiencing winter in Toronto.
Every one is going to look at this blog and say that I've gone back to the depressed person that I was before. My last few posts have actually gotten good reviews... appreciation from a few people. I think we can all agree that no matter what state I'm in, I'm always aware enough of it to know how I am. I knew that the first few months of my blogs portrayed me as a serious and depressed person. I know that the last few show a happier fun-loving side of me. There's hardly a moment in my life where I feel at a loss to explain to myself how I'm feeling. I know exactly how I'm feeling and why I'm feeling that. I feel that's a plus point for my character yet I understand the downfall of it too. Right "Puff"? Do you agree with what I've just said?
When I look at this blog, I can understand why people would think that I'm all psycho and depressed. Yet, I see something in this blog that I feel really represents how I've been feeling recently. There's this drive in me that makes me want to get up and just get going. To stop sitting around and doing nothing about life but going out and making it become what I want. Call it ambition or whatever you want. What I've got is a fire in my loins and a shiver down my spine everytime I feel this drive building up. There's no motivation for me to improve myself or to be successful. There's just this drive that gives my eyes a glint and my lips a smirk.
In the words of the immortal Captain in MXC "Gaaaait it on!"!
