Relevant Revelations
Culture plays such a big role in our lives. It defines who we are and who we turn out to be. Culture is a big limitation but it also goes a long way in differentiating us from other cultures. Since I’m from Pakistan, my mannerisms and my thinking are so different from the people of other cultures here. So my culture makes me different from the others, in that sense. However, with other Desis, I’m no different. That’s where personal experience makes me different.
My culture frowns upon relationships and encourages marriage. So, I can’t find the right person for myself since I can’t find be in a relationship to find out which girl I’m compatible with. However, if I’m never going to be in a relationship, I’ll have to rely on my parents to marry me off.
Yet, here is where my mind wanders. Do I need to get married? Why do I need to conform to everyone’s expectations? It’s taken for granted that we’re to marry and even though I’m happy for all those who do, I sometimes wonder whether it’s something that I’m suited for.
My desire to stand aside from the crowd could be a major factor why I want to shun routine and now, marriage. I don’t want to get married because people expect me to. I don’t want to get married because there’s no one who holds a special place in my heart. So, I’ll be asking my parents not to marry me off since I’m not a willing candidate for marriage. That’s not going to change unless I find someone. Someone who I’ll want to be with so much that she’ll change my stubborn mind. That’s asking for a lot. Yet, I can’t find that person since relationships are a no-no.
Ego is a curious thing. I’m a very arrogant person and yet when it matters, I never find anything good to say about myself. I have doubts. I have so many sides to my character that they all pick away at each other until all that is left of me is one big fault. To me, it’s never about finding someone suitable for me. It’s more about finding someone I’m suitable for.
So… I can expect words from others saying that that’s not true and that I’m a fine human being. Words that are meant to be comforting. Yet I don’t like relying on others when I can deal with my problems on my own.
Perhaps that’s why my life is a mess. I didn’t rely on others to help me solve my problems and now all my problems have accumulated ruining my life. Now that I think about it, I think I enjoy having so many problems since they give me something to think about and discover more aspects of life.
I need to clarify something… Half of the people who read this think that I’ve gone psycho and need help. I don’t really. My life is not really as screwed up as it appears to be in this blog. I think that it’s useful being able to explore all these different thoughts inside me. So, for those who care, no need to worry about me.
Even though I should spend my life focusing more on the physical world, I think that balancing the two worlds out in my mind completes life. So, I spend all of my days and most of my nights engulfed in studying and preparing for the future while I spend some nights thinking about so many different things.
My culture frowns upon relationships and encourages marriage. So, I can’t find the right person for myself since I can’t find be in a relationship to find out which girl I’m compatible with. However, if I’m never going to be in a relationship, I’ll have to rely on my parents to marry me off.
Yet, here is where my mind wanders. Do I need to get married? Why do I need to conform to everyone’s expectations? It’s taken for granted that we’re to marry and even though I’m happy for all those who do, I sometimes wonder whether it’s something that I’m suited for.
My desire to stand aside from the crowd could be a major factor why I want to shun routine and now, marriage. I don’t want to get married because people expect me to. I don’t want to get married because there’s no one who holds a special place in my heart. So, I’ll be asking my parents not to marry me off since I’m not a willing candidate for marriage. That’s not going to change unless I find someone. Someone who I’ll want to be with so much that she’ll change my stubborn mind. That’s asking for a lot. Yet, I can’t find that person since relationships are a no-no.
Ego is a curious thing. I’m a very arrogant person and yet when it matters, I never find anything good to say about myself. I have doubts. I have so many sides to my character that they all pick away at each other until all that is left of me is one big fault. To me, it’s never about finding someone suitable for me. It’s more about finding someone I’m suitable for.
So… I can expect words from others saying that that’s not true and that I’m a fine human being. Words that are meant to be comforting. Yet I don’t like relying on others when I can deal with my problems on my own.
Perhaps that’s why my life is a mess. I didn’t rely on others to help me solve my problems and now all my problems have accumulated ruining my life. Now that I think about it, I think I enjoy having so many problems since they give me something to think about and discover more aspects of life.
I need to clarify something… Half of the people who read this think that I’ve gone psycho and need help. I don’t really. My life is not really as screwed up as it appears to be in this blog. I think that it’s useful being able to explore all these different thoughts inside me. So, for those who care, no need to worry about me.
Even though I should spend my life focusing more on the physical world, I think that balancing the two worlds out in my mind completes life. So, I spend all of my days and most of my nights engulfed in studying and preparing for the future while I spend some nights thinking about so many different things.
I am an eternal pessimist as “Puff” has pointed out. I don’t deny that at all. With this attitude, I approach everything in a negative way. However, I know that my final thoughts on any matter are more realistic with little bias in either direction.
Yeah, I still find annoyances and complaints about everything. Yet, just thinking about it brings a smile to my face. That I have a mind willing to entertain all different thoughts and enrich itself is pretty cool.
I can think about life in all its glory but also focus on the nitty-gritty stuff and find a whole new world of ideals there.
Unlike some people, it’s not about finding out who I am. It’s more about finding out what life’s all about. The meaning of life, perhaps? We all know I’m not that cliché.
