Metamorphosis

I’ve definitely changed over the past few weeks and it hasn’t been for the good. Most of my principles have gone out the window because I just realised that they were either holding me back from having fun or were just useless to have around.

So, I’m more carefree than I was before but is that a good thing? Isn’t being careful an advantage so that you don’t make mistakes? Whatever, a life of drudgery and planned executions is not what I want anyway.

It’s amusing to see over the past few days how people have been making all these assumptions about who I am and making claims that they know what I’d do and what I won’t. They don’t know what I can do and what I can’t. I don’t know myself how far I’m willing to go.

I’m talking to “Newbie” over MSN and he’s convinced that it’s not me because I just won’t talk like the way I talked that day.

I’m talking to a cousin. “Tell me, you have known me since when?” I had to prove to him that it was really me.

Well, I guess it’s really a matter of not hiding who I really am anymore. When you lower the fake world that you’ve put up because of rules and principles, you emerge as a completely different person and I guess people will just have to learn to cope with that.

It’s not like it’s a bad thing… I can enjoy myself more now without worrying whether I’d be breaking my own rules or something. Along with the rules going out the window, a crack has formed for something else to come back and reunite with me. Emotions. I guess now that I’m not thinking about following my rules to a T, I can begin to enjoy being with friends, enjoy talking to people, be happy, sad, scared, excited and perhaps even love.

So yeah… I’m a different person in reality. Forget everything you thought you knew about me and then come talk to me. Perhaps you won’t like the new me and you’ll bugger off because I don’t need people like you around anyway. There are plenty of new people I can meet who will like who I really am.

Cynicism is a powerful thing. Use it wisely. Take everything with a pinch of salt and eventually, everything that comes your way will taste sweet.