Irrational Anger

Well, it’s pretty much settled. It’s just like “Puff” so adequately defined me. I’m too aware for my own good about what’s happening in my life. To elaborate – I know what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it. So, it’s like, I know what is the rationale for my irrational behaviour.

Except, I don’t do anything to fix it:

I’m being an obstinate adolescent? That’s alright – I’ll just continue and make everyone feel threatened by my behaviour.

I’m being a jerk to other people? That’s alright – I’ll just continue and let others think that they should stay away.

Here’s the best one: I hide secrets from someone because I don’t want them to know. However, when I find out that they are hiding similar secrets (though, not always of the same magnitude), I get angry.

It’s quite an interesting thought process in my mind. It starts off with a brief moment where I am angry. Then that’s replaced by the thought that since I have the same secret from them, it’s only natural for them to keep a similar secret from me.

Except, even though I realise that it’s all fair, I’m still angry. Depending on the situation, my attitude towards the person completely changes. Of course, I don’t become completely heartless. If the timing is all wrong, I’ll hold off. If I’m lucky, my anger will blow over by the time the moment is ripe.

So, there’s no reason to be angry. I did the same thing. I have no right to be angry just because I found out that the other person did it. Yet, I am angry and on top of that… I’m repeating myself in this blog!

Argh!!