Friendship Under Scrutiny Part II
You can look back over your life and see ups and downs. Your memories will remind you of the good times and the bad. Yet, when you really think about it, each year is mostly defined by a certain moment. Defined by that one episode that comes to mind when you think about a year.
I remember a lot about my life from 1989 onwards. Yet, I can’t think of that one defining moment because my memories aren’t that vivid. I remember snippets but nothing that really stands out.
I remember back in 1993, I was trying out for the basketball team. I was to score on Artsie who was on defense. Not that I had ever played basketball but I tried and failed. He got on to the team and I didn’t. Years later, I found out he went a long way in playing basketball. I believe that was also the year I played god in a play on “The Golden Touch” put on by Artsie, Midas and myself with a few others. I believe my mother also took a group photo at the end of the year of myself and my classmates. Artsie was late so he wasn’t in it. I never saw that photo.
I remember in 1994, I had my surgery. Enough said.
I remember a lot about my life from 1989 onwards. Yet, I can’t think of that one defining moment because my memories aren’t that vivid. I remember snippets but nothing that really stands out.
I remember back in 1993, I was trying out for the basketball team. I was to score on Artsie who was on defense. Not that I had ever played basketball but I tried and failed. He got on to the team and I didn’t. Years later, I found out he went a long way in playing basketball. I believe that was also the year I played god in a play on “The Golden Touch” put on by Artsie, Midas and myself with a few others. I believe my mother also took a group photo at the end of the year of myself and my classmates. Artsie was late so he wasn’t in it. I never saw that photo.
I remember in 1994, I had my surgery. Enough said.
I remember in 1995 - 1996, I learnt how to sing “Country Roads” by John Denver. It was also my last year at St. Michael’s. I remember leaving after my final exam. I didn’t want to go. It was a change being enforced on me. I was walking out of the school premises and none of my friends seemed to have cared. No goodbyes, no nothing. It never bothered me but it does now. That the people who were supposed to be my greatest friends couldn’t even see me off. Then again, we were only 11 years old.
Who are your real friends? Is it really that simple a question? I’ve always preached that avoiding complexity makes life so much easier to get through.
There are people who understand and accept what you say or believe in you and there are those who ridicule you. You may be trying to put yourself out there and present your take on things so that people can understand who you are. There are those who might not agree with you but accept it. They’ll still support you. Then there are those who destructively criticise you and say you’re immature for thinking in such manners.
“Oftentimes, he’ll play the Devil’s Advocate but others will not understand.” Pushing others to defend themselves brings out sides of them that they might not be aware of. You challenge them and they’ll take on a stronger persona to strengthen their point.
I’m not always the best critic. I might form quick opinions and with my close-mindedness, I’ll shut down what the other person has to offer. I’ll expect everyone to do things the way I do and to accept what I say without question. In essence, I possess all of the qualities of a true dictator. Not necessarily a good thing.
I guess I’m trying to defend the latter type of people defined a few paragraphs ago. Defend them because I can be one of them. But in reality, they don’t do any good. They downplay your beliefs, shatter your confidence. If you’re like me, they get on your nerves. They believe that you’re trying to be someone you’re not and basically, are criticising who you are. They are saying that the personality you currently wield does not suit you. Yet who are they to tell you who you can be?
Over the past few months, I’ve had plenty of things happen to me that gave me a rush. No monotony, always fuelling the fire and opportunities abound. It really helped distinguish the people who were taking an interest because they wanted the best for you from the people who might have shown an interest for the sake of asking.
Perhaps friendships move in cycles – peaking at times and dipping at others. You can be really good friends with someone and find everything working out really well but realise that just a few weeks ago, there was nothing of substance there.
“Do unto others before they do unto to you.” You’ve been snubbed by others so now you want to snub new people before they can do the same to you. It’s the sad truth. You don’t give new people a chance because of what you’ve been through. It takes time to get over being hurt and realising that this new person doesn’t show any indications of being the same.
Who are your real friends? I thought I knew that when I came up with this topic. Yet now, I have no clue. Friends are everywhere. I have brief moments where I feel like a certain person is a real friend yet those moments don’t seem to persist. Perhaps I’m closer than ever to someone yet a gaping and covert void still separates us.
It’s a weird coincidence that when I started this blog, my first post was also on friendships and now on my 100th real post, I’ve come around in a complete circle. Back to where I was back then. Only this time, I’m thinking differently. Still, the title remains the same.
I already have ideas for my next post. I feel that it’ll be bitter and jaded yet that could change.
