This Is My Life!
A point that came to mind a while ago finally came back to me. Hostility and its origins.
During the summer, I was always enjoying myself and as far as I can tell, I was nice to everyone. When summer ended and classes started, I noticed that there were periods where I felt hostile or ready to snap at people for things which I’m generally patient with.
The only difference that I could see between being the “patient and kind” stage and the “impatient and hostile” stage was that classes had started. Perhaps I do feel stress. Obviously, I can’t say that I don’t feel pressured at all. Everyone feels stress to some degree. Until now, whether it had any noticeable impact on me was the question. This year was the first time I noticed the change and although it could have been anything, starting classes was the only change that I really noticed.
A few nights ago, I was enjoying a late night glass of water. I stood next to the window and watched the road for a few minutes. It’s a really serene sight. I’ve already talked about my love for the night and it came back to me in that moment. The darkness had a special air about it that night because it had rained all day. Watching the roads lit up in a golden hue from the streetlamps above made me realise the solitude that night affords me. Going for a drive seemed very tempting. It would have been a wonderful way to spend it with good company. Of course, I don’t have a car and besides, my friends would have called me nuts for asking them to go out for a drive at 4 A.M. A nice casual drive with the windows rolled down letting the crisp, cool air refresh your senses. That’s my idea of peace in the city.
For the past few months, I had been spending too much time watching the television. Shows were popping up everywhere and upon recommendations of others, I picked up a few more. I watched them for weeks before realising that I wasn’t really in to the shows. If I can’t get in to the story of the show, I have no interest in watching it any further. This doesn’t hold true for comedies because the humour is always welcome. So, I’m cutting the number of television shows I watch. I always did say television was a waste of time.
So, what will I do if I’m not watching the television? Well, there are multiple things. I’ve finally got my hands on a couple of books. I can read them to satiate my reading appetite. I can be productive and learn some software tools – Photoshop doesn’t really count although it is interesting. I spent several hours last week teaching myself Java properly. I could continue on that so that I can actually claim to know how to program.
The story I was once writing comes to my mind every so often. I really want to finish it. I lost some motivation because the ending I had thought up for it was supposed to be completely different from the norm. However, the ending of a recent movie had an identical finish. The movie itself was good but I was disappointed that I couldn’t claim my ending was original anymore. Whether it be pride or fact, I think my story looks good and if I could just get another hundred pages on to it, it could be an achievement for me.
What’s the difference between doing all these things and just watching television? Quite simple – interaction! When I’m watching TV shows or movies, I’m not doing anything at all. It’s not really stimulating. I’ve always preferred being able to get involved. I guess that’s why computer games appeal to me. It’s as if I’m watching a story but I’m helping it progress. Writing my own story means that I get to exercise my creative side. Learning a programming language means I’m teaching myself something. Not to mention that it’s a valuable asset to mention on a résumé.
A couple of nights ago, I realised that I was very fortunate to have the opportunities to experience so many different things. I’ve gone skydiving, dune-buggying and go-karting. I’ve taken fencing. I’m learning Salsa. I’ll be taking tennis lessons next semester. Heck, I’ve even gone for karaoke. This past Friday, I joined “Emperor” in a Russian Martial Arts training class. Afterwards, I tried swordfish steak. I’ve been run over by a car and I’ve even managed to damage a car by running into it (for charity, of course). I have the use of my arms and legs, ten fingers and ten toes. That means that I don’t need to worry about there being something I can’t do. If I try enough, I’ll be able to do it. I can play whatever sport I want, I can learn musical instruments or I can sit here and listen to music while typing this out. There are so many things out there in the world to experience and being able to get up and try out something new holds so much potential.
I mentioned this to “Emperor” a few weeks ago. When I watch martial artists who can do impressive feats with their body such as flips, aerial somersaults and leaps, I can’t help but wonder that in the goal to enhance my mental capacity, I’ve ignored the opportunity to enhance my physical capacity. I can’t run up a wall and flip off in a somersault. I can’t leap up, do a 360 twirl with my body horizontal to the floor and still land on my feet. Perhaps if I try enough, I could.
The question would be… why? Why would I want to be able to twirl my body like that? It’s not like I’ll be able to use that to finish a project due shortly. All the requirements placed on us these days stem for activities that require mental effort and translating knowledge and wisdom to produce some favourable effect.
The answer would be… because I can. Just because I won’t always be able to pick up a foil and fence with it does not mean that I shouldn’t even bother. Why not expand your horizons and learn something new? There are so many benefits to enhancing your physical capacity, the least of which are health and discipline.
“Time spent wishing is time wasted.” said the Janitor from Scrubs. I do waste time wishing for things. Afterall, I’m only human (We are not “Only Human” but that’s a topic for another day). Yet, I’d like to think that I don’t actually sit down and do nothing while wishing for something. I don’t think most of us do that. Generally, we do it when we’re working on something. It distracts us to some extent, however little.
My favourite song comes to mind: Our Lady Peace – Not Enough. It’s never enough! There was a time when high school was the only requirement before moving on to jobs. Then, to get a good job, you needed to do university. While I was growing up, I knew that without a university degree, I lowered my chances of succeeding. So, the diploma was not enough. It was just a milestone on the way to the real target. Then once you hit university, you realise that you could just eke by with an undergraduate degree but it’s not really enough. You need a Masters degree.
That sort of mentality has been nourished inside of me. I grew up thinking that I could never settle for something and that if something increases my chances of getting a better reward, I should take it regardless of the effort required. It’s why I went to the technical sections in high school and took several external exams. It’s why I only applied to the top universities in the world (even if my funds didn’t agree). It’s why I took engineering. I stuck with engineering because I was too proud to admit that it was potentially out of my reach and also because I didn’t want to accept the fact that there could be things that I can’t do. Almost four years later, I’m still in engineering and I believe that I’ve conquered it to a large extent. I had a shaky start but I’m cruising now.
“If you can do it, so can I.” Some consider it a childish trait. It’s something that I still do. I don’t like to show that I can’t do it and I don’t like to accept that I can’t do it. Occasionally, I even consider it a sign of weakness when I can’t do something. This trait is not necessarily a bad thing. It leads to continuous self-improvement. In a controlled environment, it means that I won’t hold back. If it requires me to give it my all just to do something that others do easily, I will. Until I drop!
However, I came to realise that always gunning for better means that you miss out on what you’ve got. It’s not necessarily greed. It’s not necessarily blind ambition. It could just be not knowing when to stop.
There’s a joke about a woman entering a “House of Men”. The ground floor told her that on each floor, there were single men that she could pick to be hers. The only condition was that she could only go up and not come back down to choose a man. On the first floor, there were men who were rich. Although tempted, she decided to go up a flight of stairs and found to her delight, men who were rich and good looking. Again, she overcame her temptation and went up another level. There she found men who were rich, good looking and great with children. Even though she thought that they were perfect, she wanted to know if she could get something better. So she went up another flight of stairs. There, she found a sign saying “There’s just no pleasing women.”
It needs to be selective. You should know when to go for something better and when to stick with what you’ve got. It leads to a much happier life, trust me. I didn’t make a conscious effort to do that. It just happened and I’m much better off thanks to it. It’s not always about expanding your horizons. Sometimes, it’s about developing your kingdom.
I look at what I’ve got now here in Canada. A good routine when it comes to university. Two great circles of friends and thanks to a nice summer job, I have the funds to support a social life. And of course, a stable home to come back to. It means that when I go out, I don’t have to think twice about what it takes to enjoy myself. I’m not saving all of my money in the hopes that I’ll be able to buy something spectacular. I’ll save some money for that. However, I’ll go out if that’s what it takes for me to enjoy myself. I’ll try new things if they appeal to me.
Following the Systema class on Friday, I hung out with a couple of friends. We drove to a restaurant and had a delicious meal and lovely conversation. Afterwards, my friend drove us home. It was a great way to end a great Friday evening.
For the longest time, if my friends weren’t doing something new and interesting, it wouldn’t be too appealing to me. Now, I have the best of both worlds. If there’s someone trying something new, I’d try it too. If they’re just looking for a good old fashioned night out, I’ll go for that too. And that makes everything even better.
This weekend is almost over but I can already see a somewhat packed weekend coming up. Friday holds another session of Systema followed by meeting up with some friends. A movie, dinner and post-dinner lounging are the plans for Saturday. And a possible visit to go watch the Blue Man’s Group on Sunday. If all plans fall through, it’ll make for a great weekend.
You’ve got to thank your parents when you realise how great life is. Yes, so many factors affect your life and how you’ve got to where you are but your parents were important. They opened up all the different opportunities.
Life’s great. Do I have wishes? I wish I didn’t have any regrets. I wish everyone is enjoying their lives. I wish things work out for everyone. I wish snacks were free. I wish I could gain weight. Do these wishes stop me? Well, the past has passed so no point in dwelling. If people aren’t enjoying their lives, I can’t force them to but I can certainly try to help them out when the chance arises. Snacks aren’t free so I’ll indulge myself when I feel the need for sugar! None of the low-fat crap! And if I can’t gain weight, then no big deal. There’s a shortage of thin people in the world. Think about that the next time you pick up some snacks. Then pass them over here.
During the summer, I was always enjoying myself and as far as I can tell, I was nice to everyone. When summer ended and classes started, I noticed that there were periods where I felt hostile or ready to snap at people for things which I’m generally patient with.
The only difference that I could see between being the “patient and kind” stage and the “impatient and hostile” stage was that classes had started. Perhaps I do feel stress. Obviously, I can’t say that I don’t feel pressured at all. Everyone feels stress to some degree. Until now, whether it had any noticeable impact on me was the question. This year was the first time I noticed the change and although it could have been anything, starting classes was the only change that I really noticed.
A few nights ago, I was enjoying a late night glass of water. I stood next to the window and watched the road for a few minutes. It’s a really serene sight. I’ve already talked about my love for the night and it came back to me in that moment. The darkness had a special air about it that night because it had rained all day. Watching the roads lit up in a golden hue from the streetlamps above made me realise the solitude that night affords me. Going for a drive seemed very tempting. It would have been a wonderful way to spend it with good company. Of course, I don’t have a car and besides, my friends would have called me nuts for asking them to go out for a drive at 4 A.M. A nice casual drive with the windows rolled down letting the crisp, cool air refresh your senses. That’s my idea of peace in the city.
For the past few months, I had been spending too much time watching the television. Shows were popping up everywhere and upon recommendations of others, I picked up a few more. I watched them for weeks before realising that I wasn’t really in to the shows. If I can’t get in to the story of the show, I have no interest in watching it any further. This doesn’t hold true for comedies because the humour is always welcome. So, I’m cutting the number of television shows I watch. I always did say television was a waste of time.
So, what will I do if I’m not watching the television? Well, there are multiple things. I’ve finally got my hands on a couple of books. I can read them to satiate my reading appetite. I can be productive and learn some software tools – Photoshop doesn’t really count although it is interesting. I spent several hours last week teaching myself Java properly. I could continue on that so that I can actually claim to know how to program.
The story I was once writing comes to my mind every so often. I really want to finish it. I lost some motivation because the ending I had thought up for it was supposed to be completely different from the norm. However, the ending of a recent movie had an identical finish. The movie itself was good but I was disappointed that I couldn’t claim my ending was original anymore. Whether it be pride or fact, I think my story looks good and if I could just get another hundred pages on to it, it could be an achievement for me.
What’s the difference between doing all these things and just watching television? Quite simple – interaction! When I’m watching TV shows or movies, I’m not doing anything at all. It’s not really stimulating. I’ve always preferred being able to get involved. I guess that’s why computer games appeal to me. It’s as if I’m watching a story but I’m helping it progress. Writing my own story means that I get to exercise my creative side. Learning a programming language means I’m teaching myself something. Not to mention that it’s a valuable asset to mention on a résumé.
A couple of nights ago, I realised that I was very fortunate to have the opportunities to experience so many different things. I’ve gone skydiving, dune-buggying and go-karting. I’ve taken fencing. I’m learning Salsa. I’ll be taking tennis lessons next semester. Heck, I’ve even gone for karaoke. This past Friday, I joined “Emperor” in a Russian Martial Arts training class. Afterwards, I tried swordfish steak. I’ve been run over by a car and I’ve even managed to damage a car by running into it (for charity, of course). I have the use of my arms and legs, ten fingers and ten toes. That means that I don’t need to worry about there being something I can’t do. If I try enough, I’ll be able to do it. I can play whatever sport I want, I can learn musical instruments or I can sit here and listen to music while typing this out. There are so many things out there in the world to experience and being able to get up and try out something new holds so much potential.
I mentioned this to “Emperor” a few weeks ago. When I watch martial artists who can do impressive feats with their body such as flips, aerial somersaults and leaps, I can’t help but wonder that in the goal to enhance my mental capacity, I’ve ignored the opportunity to enhance my physical capacity. I can’t run up a wall and flip off in a somersault. I can’t leap up, do a 360 twirl with my body horizontal to the floor and still land on my feet. Perhaps if I try enough, I could.
The question would be… why? Why would I want to be able to twirl my body like that? It’s not like I’ll be able to use that to finish a project due shortly. All the requirements placed on us these days stem for activities that require mental effort and translating knowledge and wisdom to produce some favourable effect.
The answer would be… because I can. Just because I won’t always be able to pick up a foil and fence with it does not mean that I shouldn’t even bother. Why not expand your horizons and learn something new? There are so many benefits to enhancing your physical capacity, the least of which are health and discipline.
“Time spent wishing is time wasted.” said the Janitor from Scrubs. I do waste time wishing for things. Afterall, I’m only human (We are not “Only Human” but that’s a topic for another day). Yet, I’d like to think that I don’t actually sit down and do nothing while wishing for something. I don’t think most of us do that. Generally, we do it when we’re working on something. It distracts us to some extent, however little.
My favourite song comes to mind: Our Lady Peace – Not Enough. It’s never enough! There was a time when high school was the only requirement before moving on to jobs. Then, to get a good job, you needed to do university. While I was growing up, I knew that without a university degree, I lowered my chances of succeeding. So, the diploma was not enough. It was just a milestone on the way to the real target. Then once you hit university, you realise that you could just eke by with an undergraduate degree but it’s not really enough. You need a Masters degree.
That sort of mentality has been nourished inside of me. I grew up thinking that I could never settle for something and that if something increases my chances of getting a better reward, I should take it regardless of the effort required. It’s why I went to the technical sections in high school and took several external exams. It’s why I only applied to the top universities in the world (even if my funds didn’t agree). It’s why I took engineering. I stuck with engineering because I was too proud to admit that it was potentially out of my reach and also because I didn’t want to accept the fact that there could be things that I can’t do. Almost four years later, I’m still in engineering and I believe that I’ve conquered it to a large extent. I had a shaky start but I’m cruising now.
“If you can do it, so can I.” Some consider it a childish trait. It’s something that I still do. I don’t like to show that I can’t do it and I don’t like to accept that I can’t do it. Occasionally, I even consider it a sign of weakness when I can’t do something. This trait is not necessarily a bad thing. It leads to continuous self-improvement. In a controlled environment, it means that I won’t hold back. If it requires me to give it my all just to do something that others do easily, I will. Until I drop!
However, I came to realise that always gunning for better means that you miss out on what you’ve got. It’s not necessarily greed. It’s not necessarily blind ambition. It could just be not knowing when to stop.
There’s a joke about a woman entering a “House of Men”. The ground floor told her that on each floor, there were single men that she could pick to be hers. The only condition was that she could only go up and not come back down to choose a man. On the first floor, there were men who were rich. Although tempted, she decided to go up a flight of stairs and found to her delight, men who were rich and good looking. Again, she overcame her temptation and went up another level. There she found men who were rich, good looking and great with children. Even though she thought that they were perfect, she wanted to know if she could get something better. So she went up another flight of stairs. There, she found a sign saying “There’s just no pleasing women.”
It needs to be selective. You should know when to go for something better and when to stick with what you’ve got. It leads to a much happier life, trust me. I didn’t make a conscious effort to do that. It just happened and I’m much better off thanks to it. It’s not always about expanding your horizons. Sometimes, it’s about developing your kingdom.
I look at what I’ve got now here in Canada. A good routine when it comes to university. Two great circles of friends and thanks to a nice summer job, I have the funds to support a social life. And of course, a stable home to come back to. It means that when I go out, I don’t have to think twice about what it takes to enjoy myself. I’m not saving all of my money in the hopes that I’ll be able to buy something spectacular. I’ll save some money for that. However, I’ll go out if that’s what it takes for me to enjoy myself. I’ll try new things if they appeal to me.
Following the Systema class on Friday, I hung out with a couple of friends. We drove to a restaurant and had a delicious meal and lovely conversation. Afterwards, my friend drove us home. It was a great way to end a great Friday evening.
For the longest time, if my friends weren’t doing something new and interesting, it wouldn’t be too appealing to me. Now, I have the best of both worlds. If there’s someone trying something new, I’d try it too. If they’re just looking for a good old fashioned night out, I’ll go for that too. And that makes everything even better.
This weekend is almost over but I can already see a somewhat packed weekend coming up. Friday holds another session of Systema followed by meeting up with some friends. A movie, dinner and post-dinner lounging are the plans for Saturday. And a possible visit to go watch the Blue Man’s Group on Sunday. If all plans fall through, it’ll make for a great weekend.
You’ve got to thank your parents when you realise how great life is. Yes, so many factors affect your life and how you’ve got to where you are but your parents were important. They opened up all the different opportunities.
Life’s great. Do I have wishes? I wish I didn’t have any regrets. I wish everyone is enjoying their lives. I wish things work out for everyone. I wish snacks were free. I wish I could gain weight. Do these wishes stop me? Well, the past has passed so no point in dwelling. If people aren’t enjoying their lives, I can’t force them to but I can certainly try to help them out when the chance arises. Snacks aren’t free so I’ll indulge myself when I feel the need for sugar! None of the low-fat crap! And if I can’t gain weight, then no big deal. There’s a shortage of thin people in the world. Think about that the next time you pick up some snacks. Then pass them over here.
